My boyfriend is a bloated plutocrat.

(posted by Mike)

Watching the parade of misery on Channel 4 News this evening:

K: You know, I don’t think I want to be part of this world any longer.

M: Yeah, but don’t forget that we’re watching a round-up of the very worst things that have happened in the world today. Because that’s what news is, by and large. Plenty of nice things will have happened today as well – it’s just that they’re not so newsworthy. If reported upon, they might even come across as somewhat cloying.

K: I suppose there’s some truth in that…

M (warming to his theme): Just think of all the nice things that must have happened today. A smile will have appeared on the face of a child. A pair of young lovers will have walked hand-in-hand through a meadow. A…

K (sharply, urgently): SHUTUPTHESTOCKREPORTSHAVESTARTED.

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