Singles of the year: #41 (NMC)

41. Flamboyant – Pet Shop Boys

You live in a world of excess, where more is more and less is much less.
A day without fame is a waste, and a question of need is a question of taste.

You live in a time of decay, when the worth of a man is how much he can play.
Every day, all the public must know where you are, what you do, ’cause your life is a show.

You’re so flamboyant, the way you live, and it’s not even demeaning.
You’re so flamboyant, it’s like a drug you use to give your life meaning.
You’re so flamboyant, the way you look, it gets you so much attention.
Your sole employment is getting more, you want police intervention.

Every actor needs an audience; every action is a performance.
It all takes courage, you know it.
Just crossing the street: well, it’s almost heroic.

So, yeah: what about Sleb-Bee-Bee-Three? Eh? Eh? Eh? Featuring Germaine “professional contrarian” Greer AND Brigitte “box of frogs” Nielson AND that walking advertisement for the “Just Say No” campaign, Bez out of the Happy Mondays? All my Christmasses have come at once!

As I said over at Peter’s: when it comes to the casting of these celebrity fandangos, the production companies are getting very good at widening their demographic nets. As La Street-Porter was to that recent shindig in the jungle, so La Greer will be to Sleb-Bee-Bee-Three, deftly hooking in the broadsheet set. Meanwhile, there’s male totty (oh dear God yes), female totty (although looking at the alleged totty in question, I realise I will never fully comprehend the complexities of heterosexual desire), a “refreshingly un-PC” (if we must) curmudgeon, and a rather terrified token teen. Oh, and the woman who used to do the voiceovers for that Ibiza programme.

It’s almost enough to make me wish I wasn’t disappearing to a remote cottage near the Yorkshire coast for the weekend, to help celebrate an old friend’s 40th birthday, along with a bunch of people we’ve known for years and don’t see nearly enough of. Talk about conflicting priorities!

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