1. They are full of super-confident high achievers, comparing the advances they got from their book deals.
(If you are fortunate enough to be admitted to one of their conversational bouquets, the customary salutation is “Congratulations on [insert recent major achievement]! Can I just say that I love your work?”)
2. They are full of earnest geeks, assessing the latest plug-in widgets and swapping CSS hacks.
(A suggested conversation-opener: “So, is anyone Twittering the SXSW keynotes?”)
3. If you turn up on your own without knowing anyone, no-one will talk to you. In fact, they’ll think you’re a bit weird.
(Meeting total strangers off the Internet? Who would do such a thing?)
4. If you meet a blogger whom you a) don’t read or b) have never heard of before, admitting as much will spell certain social death.
(The recommended face-saver at such moments is “Oh! I am aware of your work!”)
5. The prime purpose of a blogmeet is to network, network, network. If you come away without being added to half a dozen new blogrolls, and without the phone numbers of a couple of good agents stuffed in your pocket, the event will have been a failure.
All of which is by way of a reminder that there’s a Nottingham blogmeet this Saturday, from 14:00 until mid-evening, in the café/ bar of the Broadway cinema on Broad Street. (If you’re not local, here’s a map.) All are welcome.