– While you were in the shower, I thought I’d save some time for later on – so I’ve packed your socks and pants for the weekend.
– Thank you. But did you pack my weekend socks?
– I don’t understand…
– Let me have a look. No, these are all wrong. You did this last week as well. Those are my boring weekday socks. Haven’t you ever noticed? I wear my multi-coloured stripey Paul Smith socks at weekends.
– Sorry, I’ll change them…
– Hang on, hang on – I still need a boring pair for Monday mornings. So that’s two pairs of stripey socks – plus one spare – and one pair of boring socks. Can you remember that in future, please?
– OK. What about pants? Do you have weekend pants?
– Of course. They’re the dark blue Turkish (*) ones, with the yellow lettering on the bum. They’re roomier than the others, so I can get nice and comfy and relaxed in them.
– So, you want your snazzy socks and your jazzy leisure pants?
– You got it. At the weekend, the Real Me comes alive. Goodbye, dull workaday drabness! Hello, SNAZZ!
(*) A friend of K’s parents owns an underwear factory in Turkey, so there are free samples to be blagged. God, we’re well connected.
Update: So, who did say what? The answer’s in the comments…
troubled diva 