The Troubled Diva Parallel Universe Top 40.

Hmm. So much for longevity; with only twelve songs remaining from the first of these charts (compiled just three weeks ago), I must be even more fickle than I had feared. Such is the transient nature of yadda yadda yadda.

On the other hand, three of this week’s fifteen new entries are actually re-entries – headed up by British Sea Power, who I was a little too quick to dismiss at the time. It sneaks up on you, that one. Familiarity is everything.

Of the new new entries, Juliet and Ciara go charging straight into the Top Five – the first time that we’ve had new entries go in so high. It’s a good week for dance, with Juliet, The Freeloaders, Chemical Brothers and Daft Punk all debuting in the Top Twenty, and Vitalic climbing ten places. It’s also – if you’ll forgive the Radio Two-ism – a great week for the ladies, with no less than six records in the Top Ten sporting female lead vocals.

Kylie displaces Rachel after two weeks at Number One; Garbage have the highest climber (on ubiquity alone, as this has been inescapable all week); and we say goodbye to Tony Christie, Estelle, The Earlies, Bloc Party, Queens Of The Stone Age, T.I., Mario, Caribou, Erasure, New Order, Gwen Stefani, Annie, Million Dead, John Legend and Fischerspooner.

1 (2) Giving You Up – Kylie Minogue
2 (11) Chicken Payback – The Bees (updated link: full length video)
3 (-) Avalon – Juliet
4 (1) Negotiate With Love – Rachel Stevens
5 (-) 1-2 Step – Ciara ft Missy Elliott
6 (19) It’s Like That – Mariah Carey ft Fatman Scoop & Jermaine Dupri
7 (5) Fistful Of Love – Antony & The Johnsons
8 (9) The One You Love – Rufus Wainwright
9 (-) So Much Love To Give – Freeloaders ft The Real Thing
10 (20) My Friend Dario – Vitalic
11 (-) Believe – Chemical Brothers ft Kele Okereke
12 (-) Turn The Lights Out When You Leave – Elton John
13 (26) In Public – Kelis featuring Nas
14 (3) 10 Dollar/Pull Up The People – M.I.A.
15 (39) Why Do You Love Me – Garbage
16 (6) No Sleep Tonight – The Faders
17 (12) Get Right – Jennifer Lopez (featuring Fabolous)
18 (4) Brown Eyes – Kano
19 (-) Robot Rock – Daft Punk
20 (18) Get Ready For Love – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
21 (16) They – Jem
22 (10) Across Yer Ocean – Mercury Rev
23 (-) Somewhere Else – Razorlight
24 (7) Oh My Gosh – Basement Jaxx
25 (8) Neighborhood #2 (Laika) – The Arcade Fire
26 (13) Stay With You – Lemon Jelly
27 (RE) It Ended On An Oily Stage – British Sea Power
28 (-) Road Leads Where It’s Led – Secret Machines
29 (-) Must Get Out – Maroon 5
30 (-) Surrender – Brand New Heavies ft Nicole Russo
31 (14) Too Cold – Roots Manuva
32 (RE) The World’s Gone Mad – Handsome Boy Modelling School
33 (-) First Day Of My Life – Bright Eyes
34 (15) Random – Lady Sovereign
35 (RE) No One Takes Your Freedom – DJ Earworm
36 (29) Finding Out True Love Is Blind – Louis XIV
37 (38) Whoopsie Daisy – Terri Walker
38 (25) I See Girls – Studio B featuring Romeo
39 (22) Just A Moment – Nas featuring Quan
40 (-) Shop Window – Kathryn Williams

Bubbling under the chart are The Magic Numbers, as tipped for greatness last week. Having sat down and listened to them since then, I’m not so sure; too thin and soft and wimpy and wispy for my tastes. There again, they could still turn out to be the new Keane – who were the new Thrills – who were the new Starsailor – who were the new Travis. Such is the cyclical nature of yadda yadda yadda.

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