Singles of the year: #32

32. Toxic – Britney Spears

1999: Everything Will Flow – Suede
1994: We Are The Pigs – Suede
1989: Always There – Charvoni

The Britney single that all the hi-brow New Pop Conceptualists flipped their collective wigs over, and with good reason; it’s a brilliantly crafted confection.

However.

When you’ve spent as many Wednesday nights down at NG1 (the local gay club) as I spent in the first half of 2004, in a lagered-up, laboratory-beagle-nicotined-up, what-am-I-doing-here, don’t-wanna-go-home-yet-either stupor of dumbed-down expectation and imagination-bereft habit, waiting for at least one half decent tune to lurch around to, because then at least you’ll be able to synthesise at least some vague approximation of Having Fun, and they’ve already played Girls Aloud’s cover of Jump (For My Love), which is usually as good it gets all night…

…then you’ll seize upon the opening notes of Toxic with progressively less desperate glee as the weeks go by, until eventually it sounds as much of an empty, forced rattle as everything else that surrounds it.

But conceptually speaking? Sure, it’s still a great record. But I have heard it enough now.

Angus takes the lead from Joe. Keep those guesses coming!

Already listed:
#32 Toxic – Britney Spears (Angus) · #36 I Believe In You – Kylie Minogue (Joe) · #38 Love Machine – Girls Aloud (Alan) · #49 The Show – Girls Aloud (Paul) · #64 Take Your Mama – Scissor Sisters (Chig) · #85 Matinee – Franz Ferdinand (timothy)

Not (yet?) listed:
Tits On The Radio – Scissor Sisters (Todd) · Babycakes – 3 Of A Kind (dave) · Filthy/Gorgeous – Scissor Sisters (asta) · Heartbeats – The Knife (Swish David) · Girls (rex the dog mix) – The Prodigy (Waitrose David) · Trick Me – Kelis (Ben) · Common People – William Shatner & Joe Jackson (Gary F.)