Interviews and photo-shoots.

I seem to have morphed into a full-time Blog Interviewer today. Answers have been provided by Caroline (Prolific), followed by Sarah (Not You, The Other One), Elisabeth (I’m Hip To You), Chig (World Of Chig), Blue Witch, and John (Rainbow Villa). Meme-o-licious!

Meanwhile, the long, slow slide into self-parody continues. As well as having the cottage photographed for a forthcoming article in Peri0d Living magazine (or Menstrual Moments, as some of the freelancers like to call it), we’re now having the house in Nottingham photographed for a two-page editorial spread in the property section of the local newspaper (hey, got to shift the place somehow). Meanwhile, the house we’re buying is going to be featured in the Sunday Times in the next two or three weeks, so we’ve been told. Oh yeah, and the PDMG has been shortlisted for some sort of national garden design award – it’s the institute of something-or-other (British landscape designers?), but I’m not exactly sure what. It’s all a giddy whirl round here, I can tell you.

I should tell you a bit more about the Peri0d Living shoot. The photographer (a slightly grand and wholly delightful ex-theatrical type, with a neat line in outrageous quippery) and her assistant turned up rather earlier than expected, to be greeted by K in his dressing gown and oven mittens (being just about to remove the teapot from the bottom of the Aga, y’see). She didn’t miss a beat. “Darling, are those your Night Gloves?” We howled. It was going to be a good day.

We were initially rather worried that our beloved cottage was going to become re-styled beyond recognition, and turned into some frightful confection of period chintzery for the benefit of the Target Demographic. “You’re not going to bastardise our Original Design Concept, are you?“, we trilled, brows furrowed with concern. “It’s New Rustic Minimalism, you know. We invented it! Will it be too advanced for your readers?” However, the changes turned out to be fairly minor, amounting to not much more than swapping a couple of paintings around, and plonking down a few blousy-yet-tasteful flower arrangements on spare surfaces. We were also surprised to find the two of them actually adding clutter – teacups, saucers and biscuits on the kitchen draining board, shoes and shirts strewn about the dressing room – giving the impression that real people actually, shriek, lived in the place. Quelle horreur!

For one of the kitchen shots, the photographer decided that she needed one of us to stand beside the Aga. K duly disappeared upstairs to change. After about five minutes, he popped his head back round the kitchen door, still in his dressing gown. “Er, just one thing. Will I be cooking lunch, or will I be cooking dinner?” Because, obviously, he couldn’t possibly select an outfit without having a full back-story. (What’s my motivation for this shirt?)

I wouldn’t have him any other way.

Oh yeah, and for the “couple on the sofa in the sitting room shot” (well, me on the sofa and K sprawled at my feet, actually – a glaring mis-representation of our power dynamic if ever there was one, but I wasn’t complaining), the photographer insisted I change out of my best shoes, because they looked too much like trainers. The readers of Menstrual Moments might be ready for Challenging New Design Concepts Which Successfully Fuse The Period And The Contemporary – they might even be ready for Swanked Up Poofs Flagrantly Sprawling At Each Other’s Feet – but they were clearly not ready for Cutting Edge Casual Footwear. The horror!

The feature isn’t going to appear until well into the Autumn (we even had to light the fire, to give a suitable impression of Autumness). But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to let you know when it hits the news stands.

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