(posted by anna, late in the night, refreshingly sober)
The main differences between roses and spoons
- Although the basic structure of spoons and roses is similar (-long slender stem, bulbous tip-) spoons seldom have thorns.
- Giving someone a dozen spoons during courtship is unlikely to get them into bed.
- It is very difficult to eat anything with a rose. Apart from yoghurt.
- Spoons are man-made. Roses are not.
Unless you take ‘man-made’ to include God, which we won’t, on grounds of sexism and agnosticism.
(Not necessarily male, and probably doesn’t exist anyway.)
- Roses taste better raw than spoons. Unless the spoon is made of chocolate.
- Although roses are often present at weddings, they are seldom given as a traditional gift.
Because they would die, and that would not be an auspicious sign.
- Instead, a wooden spoon is often given as a wedding gift, much more positive in symbolising the handing over the role of disciplinarian from the father to the husband.
So that‘s alright then.
- If you bury a spoon, it will not create new spoons.
- It is difficult to kill someone with a rose.
- People dancing Tango never clench a spoon between their teeth.
- Spoons don’t smell nice. Unless they’ve been somewhere nice.
- Roses always smell nice. Unless they’ve been somewhere horrible, like up an animal’s bum or something.
- At the end of a ballet, people don’t generally throw spoons at the stage.
I think they should.
- People don’t wander from pub to pub, selling ‘a spoon for the lady, sir?‘
- If you leave a spoon in your coffee, nothing will happen. If you leave a rose in your coffee, it will die, and people will think you’re mad and run away from you. It’s not nice.
- The rose is the symbol of several countries, counties and states. It is a fine and noble flower.
- The spoon is rarely adopted as a national emblem. Because it’s a spoon.