Inspired by Gordon's "live blogroll", I've added a recently spotted section to my sidebar, just below the recent comments section. This is designed to flag up blog posts of interest from my regular reads, by making use of the "share" facility within Google Reader. As adding a new item to the list basically involves a single click on a single button, I do intend to keep the list frequently updated. (But we shall see.)

Unfortunately, I'm still saddled with Google Reader's default layout, which makes the section a bit of a jumbo-sized eyesore. I've found details of a hack which will let me customise the design to my usual colours and fonts, but it's a bit involved (eek, Feedburner!) and so I'm going to leave it for now.

Anyway, happy clicking and all that.

Labels: blogs, linkage, meta

In search of a recipe for prawn curry the other week, K stumbled across a posting on a London-based food blog called Eat Like A Girl, and decided to give it a whirl.

The results, we both agreed, were spectacular. As I said in Eat Like A Girl's comments box at the time: "A nice combination of aromatics and sweetness, with a great texture (the prawns work very well in this respect) and a lovely long finish."

The dish has since become a regular fixture; we must have eaten it four or five times over the past couple of months. And so, in the name of Spreading The Joy, I'm linking to it here.

(Seriously, just try it. It will take you to a Happy Place.)

Labels: blogs, food, linkage

Congratulations to Sarah Peach and her team for publishing You're Not The Only One: a compilation of 106 personal stories contributed by mostly UK-based bloggers, with all profits going to War Child: "an international charity that works with children affected by war in Afghanistan, Iraq, Democratic Republic of Congo and Uganda."



The book has been compiled and published in a similar way to last year's Shaggy Blog Stories, but (rather more sensibly!) over a period of a few months, rather than in one single week. It's great to see a whole new crop of bloggers represented within its pages, with only a dozen or so writers from last year popping up again this year.

Oh, and I'm in it. So, with that Killer Sales Hook fresh in your minds, please proceed forthwith to the ordering page on lulu.com, where you can preview (for free)the front and back cover, the contents, the introduction and even the first story.

There's more information about the book, as well as a list of contributors, over at Sarah Peach's blog.

Labels: blogs, books, charity

Ten days after the official launch, the instant success of our village community blog has surpassed all expectations. New posts are appearing at least twice a day, usually more (to say nothing of static pages on the rest of the site), and people have been quick to grasp the concept of leaving comments. We have received many e-mails from people both inside and outside the village, offering extra written and photographic content, or simply expressing their appreciation. Our initial editorial team of three will have expanded to six by the end of next week; we've been mentioned in one local magazine, and are getting whispers about possible coverage in a national magazine; and as for the visitor stats, we pulled in a whopping 429 page views on Tuesday alone.

(It took me about eighteen months of solid, regular blogging to achieve a similar figure on Troubled Diva, and yet the village blog has got there in less than two weeks. Which isn't bad going for a community with only 500 people on the electoral register.)

What I haven't yet explained is that there's a serious purpose behind all of this effort, which extends over and above the immediate benefits of providing an information service and community-building facility.

We are currently seeking funding for an ambitious yet necessary re-build of our memorial hall, and have already passed the first stage of the lottery bid, netting £23,350 in order to help us prepare for the next stage.

To support this application, as well as applications from other funding bodies, a lively and active blog provides demonstrable evidence of our strengths as an active community, that is capable of successfully organising itself. We also hope that it will help to attract commercial sponsors, who will see the benefits of being visibly associated with such a worthy initiative. Many companies set money aside to support projects in their area, and we hope that this will make us a particularly attractive box to tick.

It therefore helps our cause to have the blog being talked about, outside the immediate confines of the village - and we already know that this is starting to happen.

And of course, anything that you can do to help us along would be more than welcome...

Labels: blogs, community, derbyshire, linkage

Since the closure of our village shop at the end of February, weekends in the cottage have taken on a notably different complexion. Gone is the (relatively) early morning yomp through the village to pick up a newspaper, milk, bread, eggs and various other bits and bobs - indeed, gone is the very concept of a weekend newspaper. Gone is the opportunity to bump into friends and acquaintances on the street: exchanging pleasantries, catching up with news and gossip, making plans, extending impromptu invitations. (K's record for "popping out to get a paper" was a socially impressive 90 minutes.) And gone is our regular glimpse at the noticeboard outside the shop, with its various posters, announcements, adverts and miscellaneous pieces of information.

Although plans are well underway to set up a more modest retail venture inside the village pub, there is a subtle but distinct feeling that something significant has been lost. Suddenly, we feel slightly less like a self-sufficient community, and slightly more like a dependent satellite, a dormitory for commuters.

All of which makes the long-awaited launch of our village community blog all the more timely, and all the more significant. We have been planning it for months. There have been prototypes, presentations, strategy meetings, long discussions, calls for volunteers, feasibility studies, brainstorming sessions... why, I even broke a long-held personal rule, and put together a detailed presentation in (hack, spit) Powerpoint.

And now, finally, we have a site which is up and running, with a firm commitment from our team of three to keep it regularly updated. We may not be the first village community blog in the UK (I've found three, only one of which is currently active), but I can safely predict that we'll be the most successful in achieving our aims.

For any of you who have wondered exactly where K and I spend our weekends, the mystery is about to be lifted. Click on the screenshot to access the site...

Labels: blogs, community, cottage, derbyshire, linkage

(Jump straight to Part One.)

The second thing I should tell you is this: you may not like Petite Anglaise. Its language is simple and unadorned; it nurses no lofty literary aspirations; its appeal is mass-market. It will be bought at airports, and read on sun loungers. The sort of people who “don’t normally read books” will read it, and most of them will enjoy it. If you’re the sort of person who shies away from such deliberately accessible populism, or if you’re the sort of person who likes a few more shades of purple in their prose, then I must advise you to be cautious.

The third thing I should tell you is this: you may not like Catherine Sanderson. The book’s central narrative thrust goes like this: woman starts blog, is wooed by one of her readers, and leaves the father of her child in order to embark upon a passionate relationship with him – while blogging about all of these events, as they happen, to an audience of thousands. The story is told from her point of view, with unflinching honesty. If you’re the sort of person who cannot accept any form of infidelity, for any reason and under any circumstance, then I must again advise you to be cautious.

The fourth and most important thing I should tell you is this: I like this book, and its author, a great deal. Catherine has made the transition from blogger to author with rare ease, displaying a natural ability to retell her story in the longer, smoother, less episodic, more structured format. Her language may be straightforward, but it is never banal. The lives that she describes may be commonplace, but much of the territory that she maps out is new.

For without the central presence of "petite anglaise" – both the blog and the blogger – this would be just another variation on upon a story that has been told many times before: souped-up soap opera, superior chick-lit. But what makes this story so unique is the impact that Catherine’s blog has upon the rest of her life, and upon the lives of those around her. When viewed as an extended meditation upon the effects that personal blogging can have upon “real life” – thrilling and threatening, illuminating and distorting, cathartic and toxic – then Petite Anglaise claims new ground, its deceptive lightness of touch concealing fresh, profound and sometimes disturbing insights.

As for the perceived “selfishness” of the author’s actions (an area where certain Amazon reviewers have been less than kind), I would say this: can anyone walk out on one relationship in order to start another, without having to act – to a greater or lesser degree – like a bit of a bastard, or a bit of a bitch? These things go, as they say, with the territory. With that understood, the other great strength of this book is the way that Catherine is able to describe these events – not all of which reflect upon her in the best of all possible lights – without lapsing into snivelling self-flagellation, or into manipulative self-justification. Instead, she steers a reliably clear-sighted, even-handed course through the emotional maelstrom, with full and generous consideration given to the other parties involved. (In this respect, the jilted Mr Frog comes across as an immensely sympathetic character, drawn with great affection.)

With all that said, there were passages which still made me flinch. Having spent time with Cath in real life, it was difficult to get through the book’s one brief (and entirely tasteful, and entirely necessary) sex scene without feeling that I was being bounced into the role of reluctant voyeur. Having sailed perilously close to the wind myself in this blog’s early, more confessional days, certain blogging-related episodes had me writhing with the sharp pain of recognition. And having long since pulled up my own personal shutters to what I perceive as a healthier, more manageable level, I couldn’t always shake off the nagging feeling of “Should she even be telling us this?”

All of which says more about me than it does about Catherine Sanderson: a patently gifted writer, whose words never strike a false note - and whose next, mercifully fictional work can only build on the strengths of this brave, resonant and remarkable memoir.

Labels: blogs, books, petite anglaise

The first thing I should tell you is this: my opinion on Petite Anglaise - the book of the blog - is inevitably going to be a partial one.

Way back in the summer of 2004, I received an e-mail from Petite, introducing herself and her brand new blog. Although such unsolicited e-mails are widely thought to be against the norms of blogging etiquette (as I'm sure Petite will now have realised, many times over, as yet another fresh-faced hopeful announces themselves in her Inbox), there was something about this particular e-mailer's friendly lack of guile which neutralised my customary suspicions. Moreover, there was something about her fledgling blog which immediately piqued my curiosity.

More self-interestedly, I had been spending many weeks working in Paris, with a bunch of clients who had never shown the remotest interest in how I spent my evenings. In all those months, I had only formed one social contact outside work, and so I rather liked the idea of being able to form another. With a proposed schedule that would see me spending most of the autumn in the city, I looked forward to getting to know this ex-pat Englishwoman with a gift for well-worked observational vignettes of Parisian life.

More unfortunately, I was also in the middle of a nasty and prolonged depressive episode, which had been triggered by a sequence of health problems arising from a gruelling holiday in Peru. No longer capable of sustaining my cheerful online persona, I had let the blog slide into disuse, and had more or less stopped replying to all but the most pressing personal e-mails.

And so Petite's friendly announcement went unanswered, and her promising new blog initially failed to make it into my list of regular reads. Even so, I linked to one of her early posts, and received another equally friendly e-mail, thanking me for doing so.

As it turned out, my presence in Paris was not required that autumn, or at any time in the future. Nevertheless, I continued to follow Petite Anglaise, which became a regular "appointment" read at around the time that its content shifted from the observational to the more directly personal.

One Saturday afternoon in September 2005, Petite and I found ourselves at the same gathering of British bloggers, at a London pub. As bloggers' gatherings go, this was a slightly strange one, characterised by the unusually high levels of nervousness in the room. This nervousness certainly extended to me; although usually adept at living up to the blog persona, I found this one to be something of a struggle. (The hangover didn't help, either.)

I may have been wrong - and we'd never met, so how could I judge? - but I thought that Petite was finding it slightly heavy going as well. She was certainly quieter and more self-contained than I was expecting, and I couldn't help but sense a certain aloofness. It was probably just the natural self-defence mechanism of an equally and understandably nervous soul, but once again I felt a certain disappointment, that our long-postponed and (for my part) happily presumed Great Friendship hadn't kicked in after all. But then, as her book both explains and explores, there is a difference between Catherine Sanderson and "petite anglaise" - just as there is a difference between Mike Atkinson and "troubled diva", and between many other personal bloggers and their online alter egos.

---

At the same gathering, I got talking to a feisty and disarmingly frank Mexican woman, who had just landed in the UK and who was planning to spend the remainder of her visit with an unnamed British lover. ("I'm sorry, I cannot tell you anything about him!" "I am hoping to have a lot of sex!") I only found out much later that the mystery lover was another British blogger, that the pair had met via each others' blogs, and that at the end of her visit, they eloped back to Mexico together, each abandoning their spouses in order to start a new life.

The British blogger announced this by leaving a note out for his wife and children, which was only found after his disappearance. The shockwaves reverberated around certain sections of UK blogland for weeks. The abandoned wife even started a blog of her own. For those who didn't know them, it was pure soap opera: compelling, car-crash stuff. Who knew that the simple act of maintaining a personal blog could have such dramatic consequences?

---

The next time I met Petite - or Catherine, or Cath, as our mutual friends called her - it was a year later, at another London bloggers' gathering, organised by the same blogpal as before. By this time (Autumn 2006) several members of this particular group had started landing paid writing gigs on the strength of their blogs, and so there was a certain heady excitement in the air, and much talk of that shiny new Holy Grail, the (squeak!) Book Deal. Gone was the nervousness of the previous year, to be replaced by a new-found self-confidence, and a sense that something pretty cool was happening. Perhaps it was the one, symbolic, and never quite repeated public manifestation of our little gang's moment in the sun.

Whatever it was (and whatever it might have looked like to anyone reading about it afterwards), it was a supremely happy afternoon - even if it did leave one first-generation blogger (who had been somewhat bemused to be asked, by one bright young thing working the room, "So, what is your blog about?") commenting that she "felt like a Betamax in a room full of DVDs".

Cath and I chatted a lot more easily on that occasion, and again at a mutual friend's birthday party the following Spring (which also marked a sudden, awful flash of realisation on my part, that maybe, just maybe, I had started to take the Eurovision Song Contest just a little bit too seriously for my own good, but let's not digress all night). Aloof? God, where did I get that idea from? And how had I failed to spot that wry, understated, engagingly naughty (and sometimes downright filthy) sense of humour?

A few months later, we met each other at another mutual friend's house, where - having, shall we say, mis-calculated and over-indulged - I committed one of my worst gaffes in living memory, telling our hostess that her delicious home-cooked chocolate dessert was so good that "I thought you'd got it from Marks and Spencers!" From that point onwards, my memories of the evening are hazy to non-existent - apart from one moment where, vaguely conscious that I had laughed a little too loud and a little too long at some minor witticism, I thought I caught a slight but telling frown of baffled alarm.

On all of these occasions, our encounters were quite out of context with the life that Cath describes on her blog, and now in her book. Mr Frog (the father of her child), Tadpole (the daughter herself, whose singular charisma bursts from the page, making her perhaps the book's true star), James from Rennes (the blog reader turned lover, and catalyst for the break-up with Mr Frog), the Boy (the lover recently turned fiancé)... all these key figures in her life remain as abstract constructs, and no more known to me than to any of her thousands of readers.

None the less, I count her as a good, trusty blogpal. We chat from time to time (when she told me that she "had kittens" in Richard and Judy's dressing room, I took her quite literally, assuming that Channel 4 had acceded to some strange diva demand); our respective sites have wafted on and off each other's blogrolls over the years; and she was an immense help to the Shaggy Blog Stories endeavour, readily and willingly giving up many hours of her time to help assess the submissions.

So, yes, the first thing you should know is that my opinion of Petite Anglaise is a partial one. I've been looking forward to reading it ever since I first heard of the (squeak!) Book Deal, back in 2006 - and I'm happy to report that not only does it live up to my expectations, but that it vastly exceeds them.

Tomorrow, I might even getting around to telling you why.

To be continued.

Labels: blogs, books, petite anglaise

Yesterday evening, I gave a lecture to Nottingham Trent University's Creative Writing M.A. students, on the subject of (what else?) blogging. As promised at the end, here are my lecture notes (in MS Word format) - please right-click and select "Save As" to download them.

Supporting links are as follows, in the order in which I mentioned them during the talk:

Diablo Cody: Oscar-winning blogger.
Technorati: The State of the Live Web, April 2007.
Letters Home: Alison Moyet's blog.
Interview with Alison Moyet, in which she talks about her blog.
The "Online Disinhibition Effect".
Being "Dooced": sacked from one's job due to blogging.
My autobiographical "40 in 40 Days Project".
The Bloggies: annual weblog awards.
Freelance work for slate.com: "America, Meet The Eurovision Song Contest".
Bloglines: RSS feed reader/aggregator.
Statcounter: website stats monitor.
My "statement of jadedness" re. Web 2.0 re-definitions of "friendship".
Belle De Jour: first UK blog-turned-book.
Girl With A One-Track Mind: anonymous sex blog turned book...
..."outed" by the Sunday Times.
Petite Anglaise: fired for blogging, first book about to be published.
Random Acts Of Reality: ambulance driver's blog turned book.
The Policeman's Blog - another "job blog" turned book.
My Boyfriend Is A Twat - Zoe McCarthy (humour)
Out Of The Tunnel - Rachel North (7/7 survivor's memoir)
Gods Behaving Badly - Marie Phillips (fiction)
The Friday Project (specialist blog to book publishers)
Lulu.com (specialist online self-publishers)
Shaggy Blog Stories (charity blogging compilation, published in a week)
Post Of The Week - promotes good writing on new blogs.
You're Not The Only One - new charity blogging compilation, still accepting submissions.
Novel Racers - self-help group.
Bookarazzi: excellent, comprehensive, lively resource for bloggers with book deals.
Max Gogarty's travel blog for The Guardian: a recent example of how NOT to do it!
North vs Lowde: blogger jailed for harrassment of other blogger, following "Wanted" campaign on UK blogosphere.
Guardian Unlimited: Comment Is Free.
Published novelists who subsequently started blogging: Clare Sudbery, Penelope Farmer, Kate Harrison
Plasticbag.org: (Weblogs and) The Mass Amateurisation of (Nearly) Everything... (influential think-piece)

Yup, that little lot should keep you going!

---

NOTE: As a result of all this activity, there was no Which Decade post yesterday, for which apologies. The next instalment will be appearing this evening.

Labels: blogs, books

There's no interview today, and there's nothing scheduled for next Friday either. These things come in fits and starts, and I'm glad to be taking a little rest for a while. The transcriptions alone take bloody hours; it usually takes me ten minutes of typing for every one minute of recording, and most interviews clock in at between 15 and 20 minutes each. And that's just the raw transcript, before I start the editing process. Not complaining! Just saying!

Anyhow, the next published interview looks like being Gary Numan, in a fortnight's time. (A surprisingly excellent interviewee, and I have high hopes.) In the meantime, I'll be starting Year Six (SIX!) of the Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? Project next week, with the first instalment hopefully appearing on Monday evening. In which case, I'll need all the free time I can get.

Yeesh, when did life get so busy all of a sudden? At work, the new bunch of clients are working me hard, with the additional burden of daily conference calls at 9:30 every morning. Nine chuffing thirty! Crack of bloody dawn! It is Hell.

Yesterday, I mailed my submission to You Are Not Alone (see next post down for details). It's a re-working of something which appeared on the blog in 2006, and I have to say that the re-editing process was something of an eye-opener, in terms of how my writing style has tightened up in the last couple of years. Having become accustomed to the rigours of word-count-driven economy, I was startled to discover how darned waffly the original was. It's much better now, I think.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: you'd rather return to having daily blog posts from the old Waffly Mike, in preference to a couple of freelance copy-and-paste jobs per week from the new Professional Mike. Well, we have discussed this before. And I'd love to oblige you - but this isn't 2003, and my priorities are re-aligned.

(And my life is, in every respect, much improved. I was talking about this with friends the other day, who reminded me of how unhappy I used to be with certain aspects of my lot. In this respect, we agreed that the China trip in late 2005 marked something of a turning point.)

Onto the meat and potatoes of today's post, then. Amongst my non-blogging offline friends, who merely use the web for sensible things like shopping, banking and the gathering of practical information, very few have been converted to the Joy Of Blog over the years. Sure, they might follow Troubled Diva (in the vain but touching hope that one of these days, I'll post another jolly heart-warming ramble about the cottage garden, or another racy confessional tale of nightclub debauchery), but that's pretty much as far as they'll venture into the blogosphere.

That said, I've had a number of people tell me that while they "don't read blogs" in general, they have formed an attachment to the odd one or two. So, for instance, my sister doesn't read blogs, but she does read Petite Anglaise. "Bob" in the village doesn't read blogs, but he does read Girl With A One-Track Mind. A work colleague doesn't read blogs, but she does read Non-Workingmonkey. And so on.

(Meanwhile, although K has yet to start following any other blogs at all, he always reads my Twitter home page, to find out what my pals are up to. He's even got a little crush on one of them. Not saying who! Are you mad?)

This got me to wondering: have any of your offline friends latched onto a lone favourite blog? And if so, which one? Answer me, do.

We're off to Aunty and Uncle's in Kent over the weekend, regrettably missing Gordon's London Blogmeet in the process. Have a lovely weekend yerselves. The next fortnight will be mainly devoted to Which Decade. Such excitement!

Labels: blogs, journal, myself

Just under a year ago, I launched Shaggy Blog Stories: a blogging anthology which went on to sell over 500 copies, raising over £2000 for Comic Relief.

This year, Peach has picked up the baton, in the form of You're Not The Only One: a brand new blog-to-book project, with a brand new theme, a brand new editorial team, and a brand new charity.

The theme: You can basically write about anything you like, provided that it describes a personal experience. As Peach says:The team: Peach has recruited an all-female crew, consisting of herself, Ariel, Ms R, Sarah and Vi. However, just because the team is all-female, this doesn't mean that the contributors all have to be female. Indeed - and this is another change from Shaggy Blog Stories - you don't even have to be British.

The charity: Roughly £4.30 from every copy sold will be donated to WARCHILD.

The details: Full info can be found on Peach's site. If you're spreading the word, then please be sure to include the same link.

This should be an excellent project. Can't wait to see the finished article.

Labels: blogs, books, community, linkage

I forgot to mention this at the time, but at the end of last year I handed over the day-to-day administration for Post of the Week to the estimable Ms. Peach. One of Peach's first acts on taking over was to extend the reach of the weekly voting: a splendid innovation, which means that everybody can now vote for their favourite five posts from the weekly shortlist.

Although time is almost up for this week's voting, I still thought it worth alerting you to the current shortlist, as it's one of the strongest selections in ages. Without wishing to sway the jury, my money's on A Large Number of Small Experiences: Race-day psychosis, which is (given my pathological disinterest in anything sports-related) a surpisingly gripping account of what it's like to take part in a competitive rowing event.

Labels: blogs, community, linkage, postoftheweek

2007 was probably the year that, following several years of exponential growth, the blogging phenomenon reached some sort of plateau. The word itself has now passed into common parlance, and the existence of blogs is no longer regarded as novel, unusual, mysterious, or otherwise worthy of comment. Finally - and not before time either - we have reached a stage where no-one is predicting that 2008 will be "The Year Of The Blog". At some point during 2007, the last ever "What IS Blogging?" think-piece must surely have been penned - and for that alone, we must all be truly grateful.

Because, you see, everyone's got them now. Not just the tech-head pioneers, or the "If it moves, link it!" first wave (*), or the "Today I had a cheese sandwich!" second wave, or the pundits, the politicos, the hobbyists, the special interest brigades, the amateur journalists, the "writerly" types and the "Seize the Marketing Opportunity and make $$$!" hucksters... but also, and in ever greater numbers: newspapers and periodicals, private companies and public organisations, international broadcasting empires, grassroots community projects, established professional writers, politicians, presenters, academics, high-falutin intellectuals and Z-list celebs alike.

Until quite recently, the statement "I am a blogger" implied membership of a particular community: relatively small in size, and largely (and to the outside world, somewhat bafflingly) self-referential in nature. Now, it means little more than "I have a computer, a way with words, and some spare time on my hands." Blogs have been normalised, integrated... and some disillusiuoned idealists might even say that they have been co-opted. For literally millions of people, they are just another part of everyday life.

For the faddists - the sort of people who hung out on Blogspot or Livejournal for a few months, setting up Tag Boards, joining web rings and endlessly posting the results of "What XXXX Are You?" quizzes before getting bored and moving on - Facebook is the new blogging. (We thought that Myspace was the new blogging, but little did we know what lurked around the corner, and how many more demographic boundaries were to be breached.) I'd wager that the broad majority of people reading this have set up Facebook profiles and are still active participants, and that an unshakeable minority have resolved never to go anywhere near the service. By this time next year, I'll wager that anyone who was ever likely to dabble with Facebook will have duly dabbled, that the honeymoon period will have ended, that the last "What IS Facebook and what does it SAY about us?" think-piece will have been written, and that a significant proportion of profiles will be lying dormant and abandoned. It will have been an altogether shorter cycle of Big Boom and Slow Fade, tied as it is to a single proprietary site, a more restrictive format, and an emphasis on minimum-effort, short-attention-span novelty - and by the same token, that's why the blogging plateau is unlikely to start dropping off any time soon.

From my own highly subjective little corner of the blogosphere, 2007 was the year that the Bloggers With Book Deals started yielding tangible end results (otherwise known as, coo er gosh, BOOKS!), with many more to follow in 2008. As The Blogsbury Set came of age, and as "portfolio sites" started to make their presences felt, you could also detect the first rumblings of an increasingly widespread shift in priorities. ("Sorry I haven't had much time for blogging recently, but I've been SO BUSY, agents, deadlines, press & PR, oh it's all been such a GIDDY WHIRL!") And what with stunts such as Shaggy Blog Stories, which saw over 200 bloggers left out on the pavement as the Blogsbury glitterati sailed through the velvet ropes, and Post of the Week (over 200 blogs shortlisted to date, so why wasn't YOUR blog GOOD ENOUGH?), there was a distinct sense of competitiveness in the air, as a new élite basked in self-regard ("SO wonderful to see my DEAR FRIENDS doing SO well!") while the Not So Beautiful People muttered seditiously behind their backs ("Who the chuff does HE think HE is, and SHE'S nothing special, and who the f**k made HER the Queen of Bloody Sheba?")

OK, so I'm exaggerating to make a point. But since I have been, let's face it, one of the prime architects of the New Competitiveness, and even if my motives were always about net-widening inclusion rather than judgemental exclusivity, I am not without a certain amount of blood on my hands in this regard. And for that, and for the times where my well-meaning eagerness to champion and celebrate might have run roughshod over others' sensitivities, I can only apologise.

---

(*) Non-sequiturial addendum, while you all prepare your "Oh Mike, don't be so hard on yourself" comments, bless your dear dear hearts but really there's no need, no need at all: With reference to that first wave of link-bloggers, it tickled me something rotten to read these recent words of advice from Jorn Barger, officially the World's First Ever Blogger, on the occasion of our medium's tenth anniversary: "If you have more original posts than links, you probably need to learn some humility." Because while part of me wants to say "Respect to you, Old Timer", the other part of me wants to say "Get with the program, Grandad"...

Labels: blogs, community, opinion

Well, it had to be done, didn't it?

Have a look at the eight shortlisted posts at Post of the Week, and vote for your favourites by 16:00 on Monday December 31st. What could be simpler?

Labels: blogs, postoftheweek

K and I really enjoyed the recent Channel 4 documentary "The Sex Blog Girls", starring our very own Zoe One Track.

Needless to say, this was my favourite part of the documentary. Two whole seconds of immortality (rounded up to the nearest whole number)! Why, I nearly wore out the pause button...



And then, just a few minutes later, this popped up:



"Darling!", I squealed at my best beloved. "How could they have got you so wrong?"

Labels: blogs, journal, onetrack, television

In honour of Zoe's marvellous book (available in the shops NOW, and they really do make such marvellous gifts), based on the marvellous blog of the same name, it gives me great pleasure to host a one-off revival of that marvellous 1970s game show (revived somewhat less marvellously in the 1990s)... Mr & Mrs!!!

The aim of the game is simple. How well do Zoe and her twatty boyfriend Quarsan really know each other? In order to find out, I'll be asking them each ten questions: five about Zoe, and five about Quarsan. They will be answering these question in strict isolation, with no conferring, secret winks, sign language, telepathic mind control etc etc.

For every pair of matching answers, I shall be awarding one point.

If Zoe and Quarsan agree on all ten of their answers, they will have achieved maximum compatibility.

If they disagree on all ten... well, maybe we won't be surprised.

OK, Let the game commence!

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Zoe, will you please approach the witness stand. My, you do scrub up well. Firstly, I'm going to ask you five questions about yourself. Are you ready? Bonne chance!

1. If your house was on fire, which ONE object would you save? (Please note that the object must be inanimate, and carryable.)

What does inanimate mean? Oh right, I've looked it up.
Just the ONE object? Ermmmm - my laptop.

2. If you were obliged to perform karaoke in a public place, which song would you pick?

I would never, ever sing in public - I think people deserve the right never to hear me sing. But IF I really had to, it would be 'Perfect Day' had I thought about it, but I just know I'd end up singing 'Bohemian Raphsody'. Or however you spell it.

3. Which is your favourite post on the acclaimed and award-winning My Boyfriend Is A Twat weblog?

Probably a guest-blogger's. Or one of the 'Twat's Quotes of the Day'.

4. Your household has been described as “a mixture of The Osbournes, Absolutely Fabulous and My Family” – but which character do you resemble the most?

• Sharon Osbourne (played by Sharon Osbourne)
• Edina Monsoon (played by Jennifer Saunders)
• Patsy Stone (played by Joanna Lumley)
• Susan Harper (played by Zoe Wanamaker)

Edina Monsoon, I'm afraid.

5. Which ONE item of Quarsan’s clothing would you most like to destroy?

His poncy-poofy-tracky-trainers, without a doubt.

Thank you for your answers, Zoe. We'll be talking to you again later. Now please stand down.

---

Quarsan, will you please approach the witness stand. Ah, I see that you're wearing your favourite hooded sweatshirt. The one with gibbons on it. No, you haven't got time to make a political speech. OK, is Zoe wearing her headphones in the isolation booth? Then we may proceed.

Quarsan, here are five questions about Zoe. Please answer them truthfully - and remember: each matching answer that you give will earn you one point. Once again, bonne chance!

1. If your house was on fire, which ONE object would Zoe save? (Please note that the object must be inanimate, and carryable.)

This is impossible. She'd be running round like a badger with it's arse on fire. She could pick up anything, anything at all. I'll go for her laptop or failing that a hairdryer.

As you both said "laptop", you score ONE POINT!

2. If Zoe was obliged to perform karaoke in a public place, which song would she pick?

She would sing Bohemian Rhapsody. Loudly and badly. She would also fail to get the words right. This has happened frequently. Next time i'm going to put it on You Tube.

Ooh, tricky. You both said "Bohemian Rhapsody", but Zoe's first answer was "Perfect Day". However, as Zoe said that she "just knows" she'd end up singing Bo Rhap, I shall give you the benefit of the doubt, and award you a SECOND POINT!

3. Which is Zoe’s favourite post on the acclaimed and award-winning My Boyfriend Is A Twat weblog?

Dunno. Probably one of the guest posts, probably yours.

Ah, how you flatter me. In which case, as you both said "guest post", you can have a THIRD POINT! How long can this lucky streak last?

4. Your household has been described as “a mixture of The Osbournes, Absolutely Fabulous and My Family” – but which character does Zoe resemble the most?

• Sharon Osbourne (played by Sharon Osbourne)
• Edina Monsoon (played by Jennifer Saunders)
• Patsy Stone (played by Joanna Lumley)
• Susan Harper (played by Zoe Wanamaker)

Ih give me a chance here. She's as bossy as Sharon, as batshit as Edina, as pissed as Patsy. But out of the shower she looks just like Susan, so i'll go for Susan Harper.

QUACK QUACK OOPS! As Zoe went for Edina Monsoon, you earn your first fail. Tant pis! Chin up!

5. Which ONE item of your clothing would Zoe most like to destroy?

My tracksuit bottoms. They're excellent made by small asian children for Mr Ron Hill. Suitable for all occasions, combning comfort, practicability and style. For some unaccountable reason Zoe takes exception to them and tries to tear them up at every opportunity, even when I am wearing them. In a restaurant.

Well, that one was always going to be an easy lob, wasn't it? Congratulations, Quarsan and Zoe: after the first round, you have scored an impressive FOUR POINTS OUT OF FIVE.

---

Now, let's see how you fare on Round Two. Quarsan, please enter the isolation booth. Zoe, welcome back. Here are your five questions on Quarsan.

1. What is Quarsan’s most annoying habit? (Please note that you may only pick ONE answer. Nobody said this was going to be easy.)

His farting. Light a match and this house would go up in flames. He is also capable of farting so loudly during the night that he wakes me up.

2. As an ex-pat Brit living in Belgium, which ONE aspect of British life does Quarsan miss the most?

Mountains. Do they count? If not, then bacon butties.

3. And which ONE aspect of Belgian life annoys Quarsan the most?

Shops being shut on Sunday. This isn't fair - just the ONE?

4. Many otherwise sane and well-balanced couples have instigated an exemption clause known as the “Celebrity Bye” into their relationship. This permits each partner, should the opportunity arise, to enjoy extra-marital physical relations with ONE previously named celebrity, on ONE occasion, with no fear of sanction. If you and Quarsan were ever barmy enough to instigate a “Celebrity Bye”, which lucky celebrity would Quarsan nominate as his Bonk of Choice?

That goes without saying: Kylie bloody Minogue.

5. Finally, and in the interests of balance: which is Quarsan’s ONE most lovable quality?

His ability to make me laugh so much.

Merci bien, Zoe. You did good.

---

Quarsan, let's see whether your answers match Zoe's. Here we go...

1. What is your most annoying habit?

I have no annoying habits. I have innocent habits that Zoe, in her unreasonable way, interprets as annoying. She'd probably have to decide between bottom burps and my ability to totally ignore her, something many have tried but few achieve. It's a bit like tuning out the static in your head when listening to Radio Luxembourg. I think the gastrinal aerobics.

Ooh, we were on the edge of our seats with that one, weren't we, readers? But you got there in the end, Quarsan. Farts it is! ONE POINT!

2. As an ex-pat Brit living in Belgium, which ONE aspect of British life do you miss the most?

Bacon. And mountains. And mountains of bacon.

Well, you both said "bacon", and you both said "mountains". That's almost worth two points! But let's not get carried away here.

3. And which ONE aspect of Belgian life annoys you the most?

The fact that there are three seperate languages/ governments/ nations in Belgium and this causes confusion and an almost apartheid system. I've said that Belgium mostly resembles Rwanda with an economy.

QUACK QUACK OOPS! Ah, y'see? If you go dragging politics into the equation, then you're bound to come a cropper where Zoe's concerned. Nul points for this one, I'm afraid.

4. Many otherwise sane and well-balanced couples have instigated an exemption clause known as the “Celebrity Bye” into their relationship. This permits each partner, should the opportunity arise, to enjoy extra-marital physical relations with ONE previously named celebrity, on ONE occasion, with no fear of sanction. If you and Zoe were ever barmy enough to instigate a “Celebrity Bye”, which lucky celebrity would you nominate as your Bonk of Choice?

Apart from Kylie, you mean? Actually, she is beginning to look a bit odd, what's that thing with the pernamently raised eyebrow? I'm seriously considering turning my attentions to Konnie Huq.

Again, an easy lob where Kylie is concerned. (I know what you're thinking, but I won't stoop so low.) Have another point.

5. Finally, and in the interests of balance: which is your ONE most lovable quality? (Please note that you may only pick ONE answer. Nobody said this was going to be easy.)

I can catch spiders.

QUACK QUACK OOPS! Or maybe the way you catch spiders is in itself mirth-inducing? Well, maybe we'll find out in the next book.

---

OK, you two. Shall we look at the final scores?

Well, sacré bleu, zut alors and chouette: you have scored a combined Compatability Quotient of...

... (dramatic pause) ....

70%. How healthy and functional is that? Many congratulations! No, you haven't won a car! Cue credits!

(Enjoyed the show? Then BUY THE BOOK. I've read it! It's great! And I don't even read books! What greater endorsement could there be?)

Labels: blogs, books, questions

(Post title suggested by miles away.)

Words. More words? No. No more words. Words, no more.

Outside: darkness. Inside: black, raven-black, black as ink-stained night.

Beside me, the crust of a half-eaten cheese sandwich curls up in silent reproach.

Semi-digested. Hardening, crumbling, returning to dust. As we all must. But some, sooner than others.

Above me the noose, seductive as your deadly, treacherous smile. Beckoning, siren-like, towards everlasting peace.

All that remains, now. Press Publish, step up, kick away, away, a final gasp, then, no more.

Adieu, dear imaginary so-called friends, adieu. Youve been such a lovely audience.

---

W00t, first! :-)

---

LOL I hate cheese sandwiches too... have you tried adding pickle?

---

Cheese sandwiches give me nightmares. Stay off the cheese!

---

If I were you, I'd try prosciutto with buffalo mozzarella and tomatoes on a lightly toasted ciabatta. Then come back and tell me you don't love it!

---

Sigh. Such powerful writing. I love you work.

---

Great post (as usual!), but you need to correct that missing apostrophe in the final sentence. Also, the sandwich metaphor is unconvincing and needs more work.

---

There are CHILDREN DYING and all you want to talk about is CHEESE SANDWICHES? You have BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS.

---

Congratulations on winning Post of the Week!

---

Tolerably diverting, but you're no Troubled Diva.

---

after reading dis shitty post i felt like toppin meself to

---

Too high and mighty to reply to comments then, are we?

---

Hi. My name is Ria Pollof, and I'm researching an item on suicidal bloggers for BBC Radio Four's Woman's Hour. Obviously we can't pay, but it would be great publicity for your blog! If interested, please e-mail me.

---

I call bullshit. This is just a publicity stunt in order to land a book deal, isn't it?

---

Self-absorbed narcissistic fame whore. You'll probably ban this.

---

Suicide is the choice of the Islamofascist. This would never happen in America. THAT'S WHAT MAKES OUR NATION GREAT.

---

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Comments on this post are now closed.

Labels: blogs

As of less than an hour ago, I am officially on me hols for the rest of the month, my CD Discman choosing to mark the occasion by serendipitously furnishing me with the all-time summer pop classic "Beach Baby" by First Class (as dissected quite brilliantly here) on the walk home, nestling as it is on Disc Five of the newly released 5CD compilation 101 70s Hits, which I recommend unreservedly, despite the very occasional clunker, but then again, at a retail price which works out at 15 pence per track (or even less if you place your order here), there's really very little to complain about.

But I over-subordinate. To make the next eleven days Truly Special, and bearing in mind that I have become the sort of culturally challenged dullard who only reads books on holiday, I have assembled a Summer Reading List With A Theme. I wonder if you can spot what it is?

Mike's Summer Reading List With A Theme.

1. The Dying Of Delight - Clare Sudbery.

2. Gods Behaving Badly - Marie Phillips.

3. Out Of The Tunnel - Rachel North.

4. The God Interviews - Natalie d'Arbeloff.

5. The Killing Jar - Nicola Monaghan.

(Well, since I've given a talk about them, I thought it might be as well to read a few of them...)

Skoolz out 4evah! Happy holidays, everyone!

Labels: blogs, books

No, we've not been to a dodgy strip club; instead, yesterday saw me taking K to his first ever blogmeet, at a formerly gay (and now much improved) pub on the Bayswater Road. Waggledance was their guest beer - and at a whopping 5%, it was a fine ale indeed - but since K was going to have to be driving us home from Derby station that evening, shandies were the order of the day. I'm sure you can picture the amusement.

Perhaps I shouldn't even be calling the blogmeet a blogmeet, since it wasn't an openly publicised event. Rather it was a gathering of The British Blogpals Of Lucy Pepper From Portugal - who, amongst her many more celebrated achievements, is also responsible for the first two images at the top of my sidebar.

Most of the blogpals were familiar faces; others I was meeting for the first time. K had never met any of them before, and he doesn't read blogs anyway, so I did a certain amount of discreet "background" hissing - but it wasn't an easy social situation for him to step into, and he did well to last the course with such good grace. (Tellingly, he formed an immediate alliance with Lucy's Professor, one of the two other non-bloggers in the room.) Perhaps I should have dragged him round the table with me, showing him off and making sure that EVERYONE LOVED HIM. But that's not our style. So I was rather pleased when Bob (hooray, another Gay at a Blogmeet for once!) took me aside and told me that K was "lovely". Because, well, he IS. And it always pleases me when people agree.

---

(I always operate on the default assumption that everybody who meets K is madly jealous that I got in there before they did. Yes, I might be delusional. But at least my delusions are romantic ones.)

(Example: the nice older lady on reception at our hairdressers, who didn't realise that we were partners until it came out in passing a couple of months ago:

Nice older lady (with feeling): I love him.

Mike: So do I. But I saw him first.

Our hairdresser: Yeah, but she had him last.

You have never seen two people rouge up quite so swiftly. But I over-parenthesise.)

---

As for me, the usual phenomenon occurred, whereby I left the pub feeling I hadn't spent nearly long enough talking to people, even though I had been there for over five hours solid. How does that happen?

We would have packed swatches (see posts below; way to fill a comments box; updates as we get them), but they'd never have fitted in the day sack.

I am very tempted to give you neatly turned pencil portraits of the bloggers I'd never met before, but perhaps discretion is the better part of valour.

I had one Waggledance too many, and ended up burbling. But that's all part of the experience.

Mike loves meeting bloggers!

Labels: blogmeets, blogs, journal

If my increasingly limited excursions through Blogland are anything to go by, then it would seem that a fair number of long-time regular bloggers are experiencing a downturn in traffic to their sites. In order to confirm or deny this, I've set up a wee poll. (Don't worry, it's completely anonymous, so please be open and honest.)

Yes, there might well be a think-piece at the end of all this. Hey, you know what I'm like...

Bloggers, how's yer traffic?

Has traffic to your blog increased or decreased over the last six months? (NOTE: Please answer this question only if you have been blogging regularly for 12 months or longer.) My traffic has significantly increased. My traffic has slightly increased. My traffic has stayed more or less the same. My traffic has slightly decreased. My traffic has significantly decreased. Current Results

Labels: blogs, poll

Of course, if one cocks up the timing of one's talk so badly that large chunks of it never get aired, one can always stick one's lecture notes on one's blog afterwards. Because, naturally, one abhors waste.

These, then, are the notes for the second half of Saturday talk, which relate to bloggers and book deals, and the differences between blog writing and book writing.

(Most of the first half can be found here.)

Much of what follows was inspired by (and on occasion, directly lifted from) phone conversations which took place last week with Clare Sudbery and Zinnia Cyclamen ("proper" writers both), to whom much gratitude.

There is something which has recently come to be seen (in certain quarters) as the Holy Grail to which every personal blogger must aspire.

Two little words, which have an almost mystical hold over certain sections of the blogosphere...

...and I’m going to say them now...

BOOK DEAL!

The first UK blog-to-book: Belle De Jour (2004).
- Scandalised the blogosphere by winning the Guardian "Best British Blog" competition.
- Major national press guessing game re. her true identity, which to this day has never been revealed.
- BdJ to be played by Billie Piper on ITV2 series in the autumn. (The ultimate accolade!)

A couple of blogging compilations in 2005 and 2006, mainly sourced from the "political" wing.

In 2006, the "blogger with a book deal" phenomenon began to emerge in earnest.
- Girl with a one-track mind
- Petite Anglaise
- Tom Reynolds: Random Acts Of Reality –> “Blood Sweat & Tea”
- David Copperield: The Policeman’s Blog -> “Wasting Police Time”

Reactions to blog-to-book boom.

People are now aware that book deals from blogs can happen.
- some cynical reactions from certain sections of the blogosphere
- introduces a hierarchy into what might have been seen as an egalitarian model (although it basically still is?)
- ramps up the competitive element
- why aren’t I good enough / what's so great about them / they’re a self-glorifying clique, etc.

Example: Wife In The North.
- £70k deal with Viking Penguin, less than 6 weeks after starting her blog
– shock, horror, had previously worked as Sunday Times journalist
- hence suspicions as to legitimacy of "buzz", cf. Sandi Thom in 2006
- conspiracy theories: it's a PR stunt, etc.
- highlights emphasis on perceived "authenticity" and purity of motives

However: there are no blogging equivalents of Jordan!
- the blogosphere is a meritocracy
- you can’t schmooze your way to the top if you’re crap
- although there are scores of overlooked gems, the most popular personal blogs are popular for a good reason
- consistently well written and engaging
- have something which makes people want to come back for more

Emerging outlets for blog-to-book publishing.

The Friday Project.
- niche publishers in blog-to-book market
- much kudos within the blogosphere if TFP picks you up
- can they compete with the majors in terms of PR/marketing/distribution?
- depends on the extent of your hunger for world domination!

Self-publishing.
- ideal if you’re not into world domination, and not looking to shift mega-units
- sold online only
- you set your own rate of royalties
- though sales will be smaller, your percentage will be higher than going through a normal publisher
- benefit of immediacy: as soon as you submit your Word document or PDF file, the book is ready to order
- no start-up costs; books are printed to order and sold directly by self-publishing website
- you don’t need to pre-order, so no risk of being left with boxes of unsold stock

Leading self-publisher is lulu.com
– have coined the term “blook” (ugh)
- concept is promoted via the annual Lulu Blooker Prize
- I used them for my own venture into self-publishing: Shaggy Blog Stories (see below)

Could we see a rise in self-publishing and a move to grassroots? Lulu.com operating like an indie record label distributor?
- Maybe, but no sign of it yet.
- You can surf Myspace and quickly find a whole host of hot new bands, but you’ll search in vain on Lulu for hot new writers.
- Still in the realm of vanity publishing – no reliable indicators of quality – low volumes of sales. (SBS sold 500 copies and is in the all time top 200 best sellers, if that’s any indication.)
- No distribution network, and no marketing clout outside the Lulu website – you have to do all your promotion yourself.

Shaggy Blog Stories.

Anthology of comic writing from UK blogs.
- to raise money for Comic Relief
- but also “a book deal for all”, to widen the opportunity for bloggers to make it into print
- conceived and executed in seven days flat
- book released at midnight on the start of Red Nose Day
- 300 submissions, reviewed by editorial team, 100 selected for publication
- DIY typesetting/editing/proofing – crash course – steep learning curve - great experience - much help offered and gratefully received
- 500 copies sold, c.£2000 raised
- lulu.com supportive, waived their own royalties
- publicity: BBC Radio Five Live, Radio 2, some national press, but overhwelmingly via word-of-mouth and links from other blogs
- spin-off podcast (complete and utter flop!)

Have also set up Post of the Week
- to promote great writing on personal blogs
- to draw wider attention to blogs which might otherwise have been overlooked
- one guaranteed humdinger of a blog post, once a week, every week

The curious isolation of the blogger-turned-writer.

Once a blogger lands a book deal, they face a new set of pressures/problems/bewilderments, a lot of which can't be blogged about.
- not wanting to brag / to bore / to jinx things before "going public"
- “all your dreams have come true, stop whinging!”
- issues can be stressful and scary

Writers don’t tend to meet each other
– not introduced via agents/publishers etc
- there’s no club, but you do want to talk to people

Other sources of info/help:
- blogs which deal with the creative process (eg. struggling author, real e fun)
- people are approaching each other out of the blue with messages of appreciation/support, and some acts of real generosity take place
- but if you can’t blog and you can’t talk, maybe you need a support network?

“Bloggers with book deals”
– private discussion group
- enthusiastic responses when set up – active and busy group
- divides between pre-existing authors with blogs, and bloggers who have landed deals – mostly first time writers (or at least first time fiction writers)

"The Novel Racers"
- informal support group
- international
- has its own group blog, where writers post on the progress they are making, and generally cheer each other on
- pre-existing book deals not required!
- started as a "race" to see who completed their novel first, but since has widened its reach

Issues confronting the blogger-turned-author.

One big shock might be the sheer amount of hard work that has to be put in.
- not a simple matter of copy/pasting standalone blog posts into a Word document
- need for a unifying narrative arc / structure / start, middle and end

You’ll also need to work through various drafts.
– the idea of a draft is anathema to most bloggers
– after all, the vast majority of blog posts are first drafts!

Then you’ll need to edit yourself. You can’t be flabby, and you can’t waffle on.
- This was a problem I noticed time after time when editing Shaggy Blog Stories.
- Potentially strong pieces bogged down by acres of excess verbiage.
- Many digressions, which might be important to the author - and maybe to the author’s immediate circle - but not to the wider readership.
- Shut up and get on with the story!
- The clearest indication that once you transfer online writing to the printed page, that different standards automatically apply – it highlights the weaknesses in the prose quite mercilessly.

Similar issues are faced when moving into journalism.
- tightening up of writing style
- can’t use the first person
- have to stick to a word count
- involves ruthless paring down, which can initially hurt if you're precious about each word
- your prose might then be hacked around by sub-editors

I welcomed the imposition of this kind of discipline.
– have learned to love the editing process, though painful at first
- made it much easier to swing the axe when editing Shaggy Blog Stories
- but also makes it much harder to return to the freedom of blog writing
- my voice has changed; can feel like a retrograde step to return to my old voice, where I can ramble/digress/parenthesise/stuff my sentences full with too many adverbs etc.
- maybe I’ve finally exhausted myself as a subject... who'd have thought it!
- maybe some bloggers-turned-authors will end up feeling the same way?

Another big issue: bloggers-turned-authors are generally writing about their own lives: memoir.
- Big worry is not breaching the confidentiality of others, but the fact that you're exposing yourself.
- It’s the "getting caught naked in public" dream.
(NB: I only started having this dream when I started blogging!)

Also: potential exposure to a new level of criticism which they’re not used to.
- Readers will accept a lower quality of writing from a blog than a book.
- In a blog, roughness & immediacy is part of the charm – you can feel the heat of the moment. This won’t wash on the printed page.
- People will criticise books in a way that they generally don’t with blogs.
- You no longer have the safety of the fluffy comment box support group, which does have a tendency to over-praise.
- Put material onto the printed page, and it automatically raises the bar.
- Have to deal with resentment... “I could do that”...
- ...or “you’ve only been published because [insert snarky theory here]”

Comments box politics.

Wider exposure opens up the comments box.
– petite & girl now get large numbers of comments from strangers all over the world
– that feeling of a semi-closed community is lost forever
- introduces an unprecedented new level of direct public communication between author and readers
- too many comments for readers to follow - makes the "conversation" too unwieldy
- not all comments will be supportive or welcome!
- sycophancy/abuse/self-promotion/various other dodgy motives
- introduces a need to hold comments for moderation, and to delete the worst (which can in itself generate more problems)
- you have to question what value you’re getting from the process
- plenty of reasons to retain comments, but it takes time/effort/courage

Rachel North/Felicity Lowde – extreme cautionary tale of a commenter turned stalker/harrasser.

Most authors continue to subscribe to the “tablets of stone” model.

But one of the big differences between blog writing and novel writing or journalism, is that blog posts are seen as initiating a discussion.
- old media journalists had to learn this when contributing to The Guardian's Comment Is Free blog
- expected to hang around and participate, after publishing your article

Growing trend for bloggers reply to every comment they receive
- particularly newer bloggers
- becoming expected as a matter of course
- danger of being seen as aloof if you don't?

Writer to blogger: reversing the flow.

Plenty of established journalists have seen the writing on the wall and set up their own blogs.
- raises their profiles; enhances rather than threatens their published work

However, very few published novelists have gone on to set up their own blogs.
- a growing number have their own websites, but not their own blogs
– even though blogs are easier to keep up to date with fresh new content
- also leads to higher Google rankings

Examples:
- Clare Sudbery
- Penelope Farmer (Grannyp) - only recently “came out”
- Kate Harrison - blogs about the creative process
- David Belbin

Professional sniffiness?

Perhaps professional writers are somewhat sniffy:
- a lot of work for no income
- why would I give my writing away for free?
- is this “mass amateurisation” a dumbing down?
- blogging as distraction / displacement activity
- encourages looser, less structured, more undisciplined writing
- suspicious of the public exposure – why put a diary online?
- a threat to my livelihood?

Problem of perception:
- Blogs to books seen as chick-lit or toilet reading rather than serious literature.
- Perhaps this doesn’t matter – all the most widely read blog writing is populist in nature – maybe it goes with the territory.
- Blog reading is quick-hit, short-attention-span, coffee-break reading – it doesn’t lend itself to extended concentration or complex narrative structures.

Alternatively, and more positively:
- a testbed for new ideas, a play pen, a coffee break, a place to muck around and experiment.
- requires less motivation/commitment, so loosens you up.
- a place to offload all the stuff that won’t fit in your novel, that you might otherwise have tried to shoe-horn in.

Every blogging writer that I've spoken to has told me that blogging has been an immense help rather than an awkward hindrance.

“If I want to be noticed as a writer, should I start a blog?”

Don’t start a blog assuming that you’ll be noticed and snapped up.
It has happened – but it’s very much the exception.
Although if you’re good, people will discover you and start reading you.

Be prepared to join a community, as a participating member.
You get out what you put in, so discover your own favourite blogs, link to them, leave comments... the love you send out will return to you.

If a high readership is important to you, then:
- maintain a consistent style & theme
- update regularly, without fail, at least 3 times a week
- reply to your commenters – it makes them feel included
(I break all the above, and this costs me readers.)
- focus on your readership – read the blog through their eyes
- make every word count
- be patient – let your reputation build at its own pace

It can be a distraction; it can be a dead end. But equally it can help you to:
- find a voice
- develop your writing skills
- build an audience and a support group
- give you confidence to move onto larger tasks

Time and again, I’ve observed people whose style has developed and matured over time. You see a raw spark, you latch onto it, and you see it flourish. A rewarding process to observe.

You can treat it as a self-help/self-study creative writing course, with automatic mutual peer review. (But beware the sycophants!)
- Just remember – you can’t expect to be able to run a 5 star restaurant just because you can cook a mean pizza.
- Creative writing courses, Arvon foundation courses, writers’ groups and how-to books are all available, and blogging is no quick & dirty short cut.

Finally, and personally speaking...

You could argue that if you’re a natural writer, you would have found an outlet for your writing anyway...
...but without blogging, I would never have started writing again.
- I used to write for pleasure, but in secret – there seemed something vaguely shameful about it – and stopped at age 17.
- Zero confidence in my abilities – didn’t believe I could do anything useful with it – felt I had to grow up.
- Since starting 5.5 years ago, I’ve reconnected with an ability that might otherwise have lain dormant for the rest of my life – and I’ve had the opportunity to develop that ability, spurred on by the knowledge that everything I write has an audience.
- In fact, I’m so steeped in the culture that I can’t see the point of writing anything without an audience!
- Which would make me a very poor blogger-turned-author. All those months of writing in the dark? No thanks!
- Besides, I’m that fatal combination: a perfectionist and a procrastinator. Hence temperamentally ill-equipped!

Final word: I have it on good authority that the best way to land a book deal remains the same as ever:
Write a book!

Labels: blogs, books

Yesterday's little blog talk went just fine, thanks for asking. It was a modest turn-out, but certainly enough to make the event worthwhile, and thanks are due to my hometown posse (including JP, MissMish, Rullsenberg and Cloud) for turning up, lending support, and pouring ale down my neck in the pub over the road afterwards.

However, being my own harshest critic and all and all, my immediate post-talk thought was annoyance that I hadn't managed to squeeze all my material into the allotted 45 minutes. As it was, I spent too long on the first half (essentially a 2007 remix of the talk I gave at Broadway Cinema a while back), and ran out of time to get stuck into the all-new second half, thus spluttering to a rather abrupt halt. Which was a shame, as the second half was all about bloggers and book deals, and the differences between blog writing and novel writing, and I'd spent a long time researching and assembling the material. In fact, it was the second half which I was looking forward to the most. Lesson learnt: do a timed run-through in advance, and chop your material accordingly. (I did this last time, but got a wee bit too complacent this time.)

That said, the talk went well, and I managed to strike the right balance between scripted and off-the-cuff material. It would also have been fun to have extended the Q&A session at the end, which did give me the chance to shoe-horn a couple of sections from the overly abridged second half. And it was good to meet Sally Morten (one of the Shaggy Blog Stories contributors), as well as a previously unknown regular reader (who asked me some rather penetrating questions about blog stalkers, before re-assuring me that his presence at tomorrow night's Ted Leo & The Pharmacists gig didn't mean that he was one of them, ahahaha, dear me no, thanks for reading, see you at the gig).

I left Lowdham with a very strong urge to do this sort of thing on a more regular basis, preferably with at least a 60 minute timeslot. So, readers, if you're hiring, then I'm ready, willing and able...

---

Anyhoo, since I promised to do this yesterday... for the benefit of those who turned up, here's a quick link-list of various points arising.

· Technorati: The State of the Live Web, April 2007.
· The "Online Disinhibition Effect".
· Heather Armstrong on being "Dooced".
· The Bloggies: 2007 Weblog Awards.
· Bloglines: personalised site feed aggregator.
· Hallam Foe: official blog for the forthcoming movie, which received a special preview screening for bloggers last month.
· Belle De Jour - the first UK blog-to-book success story.
· Girl With A One-Track Mind and Petite Anglaise - bloggers turned writers, whose stories both made international headlines in 2006.
· E-mail from Nicholas Hellen of the Sunday Times to Abby Lee (Girl With A One Track Mind).
· Random Acts Of Reality: ambulance worker's blog, now available in book form.
· The Policeman's Blog - another "job blog", now available in book form.
· Wife In The North: offered a £70k book deal less than 6 weeks after starting her blog. (News story in The Times, February 2007.)
· The Friday Project: independent publishers who specialise in the blog-to-book market.
· Lulu.com: self-publishing service.
· The 2007 Lulu Blooker Prize: literary prize for blogs-to-books, aka "blooks".
· Shaggy Blog Stories: self-published UK blogging anthology, conceived and executed in seven days, to raise money for Comic Relief.
· Post of the Week: set up by myself and others, in order to promote great writing on personal blogs.
· Felicity Lowde sentenced to six months' imprisonment for online harrassment of blogger Rachel North: BBC news story; Times news story; Rachel North's reaction; interesting background article on Lowde and "Narcissistic Personality Disorder".
· Blogger.com: allows you to set up your own blog in minutes, at no cost and with no technical know-how.

Labels: blogs, books, journal, linkage

From now on, my blogroll will be set to display exactly 40 blogs, ordered so that the most recently updated appear at the top of the list (according to blogrolling.com, who provide the service).

Every time I read something particularly good on a blog that's not listed, I'll add them to the list, removing the site that's currently at the bottom. Now that I'm subscribed to blogrolling.com, this will be a quick and simple operation, which won't require messing around with the HTML in my template.

When today's initial list of 40 blogs has been completely replaced, I shall continue by removing the site which has been resident on the list for the longest period of time.

Of course, there's then nothing to stop the deleted blogs being reinstated, the next time that I read something particularly good on them. In fact, I'd expect it to happen a good deal of the time.

In this way, my blogroll will actually work like, goodness me, a roll. It will act as a snapshot of what I'm currently enjoying, which will inevitably be a mixture of old favourites, nifty looking newcomers, occasional pleasures and passing fancies. It will be more interesting to monitor on a regular basis, and more useful in terms of providing a manageable set of up-to-date recommendations for curious readers. And best of all, no-one need feel offended ever again when they drop off the bottom of the list, as this will inevitably happen in turn to every site that's listed.

It has taken me five and half years to come up with a blogrolling policy that I actually feel comfortable with - so phew for that, eh?

Labels: blogs, community, linkage, meta

Apologies for the hastily written and somewhat confusing post below this one, my dear dear friends. I’ve had concerned e-mails and everything! Bless your hearts!

My recent extended blog silence can mostly be attributed to the usual, fairly routine reasons. Firstly, I did feel somewhat out of sorts for most of last week. If I were the sort of person who was given to talking about mis-aligned energies, then I'd say that my energies were decidedly mis-aligned - not to say severely depleted by the rigours of being stuck with an exceptionally repetitive and mind-sapping work task. (Still ongoing, and in danger of wearing out my CTRL, C and V keys.)

I then proceeded to spend the Easter weekend focusing on matters which took me far away from the laptop - and indeed, as far away as possible from the deafening hum of the accursed de-humidifers. (The affected walls in the morning room are still only down to 80% humidity, so there's a way to go yet.) Thus did a brief bout of Blogger's Block morph into a recuperative spell of Blogger's Holiday.

Added to this, a right old tangle of distinctly jaded thoughts have been swirling round inside my head. These have arisen from various sources, but none of them have been of a particularly personal nature. Ordering them into some sort of coherent Statement of Jadedness Think Piece may well turn out to be a futile task - but let's have a bash, and see where it takes us.

---

If you've been out and about in Blogland over the past week or so, then you may well have stumbled across the news of a recent court case, in which a UK blogger was found guilty of conducting an eleven-month campaign of harassment against another UK blogger. (I'm deliberately not linking directly, but the whole gob-smacking story can be accessed through the shortlist for last week's Post of the Week.) The harasser's weapons included a deluge of abusive and threatening e-mails, accompanied by a similar deluge of malicious and defamatory blog posts and blog comments. The allegations levelled by the harasser against her victim (and indeed against many other people over the past few years) are highly detailed and deeply wounding, clearly intended to cause severe damage to both personal and professional reputations. Since they have been repeated over a network of interlinking blogs, calculated to raise their visibility in search engines, these allegations now show up on the first page of Google searches for several of the victims in question. As such, they are clearly visible not just to the victims' friends, relatives and colleagues, but also to any potential employers or clients who might be conducting some elementary research. Meanwhile, having failed to show up for her court case, and despite bail conditions which expressly forbade her from using the Internet, the convicted harasser continues to repeat her charges on her main blog, continuously and obsessively, whilst on the run from the authorities.

Two aspects of the case have been particularly troubling me. Firstly, the harasser has never actually met her victim in person, but instead has built up her impression of the victim's character almost entirely by reading her blog posts and making her own subjective interpretations. The harasser now claims that her own blog forms her legal defence. Not her testimony, but her actual defence. It is as if, by committing her wild and unfounded allegations to a publicly available blog, her words are somehow granted some sort of additional legitimacy. The whole mindset is manifestly delusional, but one of its chief delusions is to substitute online relationships - which can only ever be partial - for fully fleshed relationships in the real world.

Secondly, there would appear to be no mechanism for removing the offending blogs, now that their author has been found guilty of harassment. The allegations live on, and nothing can be done to get rid of them. As the blogs are hosted on the free Blogspot service by Google/Blogger - a US company - Google/Blogger are bound only by US law, and not by British law. This is the standard reply which complainants can expect to receive:The only example that springs to mind of Blogger actually taking action over "objectionable content" concerns an extreme homophobic hate blog called Kill Batty Man, which attempted to incite its readers to murder gay men. Even then, the blog ran for a year before such action was taken, and it took a major outcry from major league A-listers before anything was done. (More details here.)

Meanwhile, a prominent US tech-blogger has recently gone public over a series of abusive and threatening comments which have caused her to fear for her own personal safety, and to cancel her public speaking engagements. In the fall-out from all of this - which has been immense - some people have accused her of hysterical publicity seeking, while others have set about drafting a high-minded "Code of Conduct" for bloggers. (It is this latter initiative which Unreliable Witness skewers so deliciously, thus saving me the effort of constructing a skewering of my own.)

Once again, most of these people have never actually met each other. All the abuse, all the second-guessing, all the amateur psychological profiling - it has all been constructed from reading blog posts, forming assumptions based on subjective interpretations, and gathering so much popular support for those assumptions that they begin to look as if they have real substance behind them.

It's precisely the same mindset that fuels the various bands of conspiracy theorists for whom the "social web" provides such a fertile breeding ground. Cherry-pick your material, garnish it with prejudice, spin it into the juicy narrative of your choice, and defend your position ruthlessly, without need for further question.

---

OK, time to scale things down a good few notches, in order to illustrate a wider point.

A couple of weeks ago, I began to worry about the apparent disappearance of a normally prolific UK blogger: not someone whom I read regularly, but someone whom I "know" from my various excursions within Blogland, and who is quite a well-known figure within her own particular sphere. I needed to speak to her about something - but she wasn't returning e-mails, and her blog had fallen silent. I decided to Google around for clues.

Almost immediately, I discovered that this blogger had signed up for various "social networking" and "community building" sites, of the sort that are generally identified with the whole "Web 2.0" phenomenon. (Here's the Wikipedia entry for Web 2.0.) Many of these sites are based around the concept of registering for the service in question, selecting a name and a small identifying graphic (or "avatar"), filling in a simple descriptive profile (gender/location/interests), and building up a social network of "friends", who have also registered for the service.

This particular blogger certainly wasn't short of "friends", and yet none of them seemed to be remarking upon her disappearance. Well, why would they? After all - and I don't mean to castigate these people in any way, but this goes to the heart of the matter - they're not her friends.

Nevertheless, there was something both poignant and troubling about scrolling through all these public declarations of "friendship", which didn't seem to amount to much more than a hill of beans. For me, it gave the lie to the whole concept of Web 2.0 and "social software". Because friendship - true friendship - is based around a good deal more than assembling a reassuring little cluster of avatars on a web page - as if they were stamps, or realistic indicators of popularity.

True friendship is when your real life neighbours interrupt their Friday night dinner party to spend two hours helping you shift piles of soaking wet plaster from your collapsed ceiling, in their best clothes, with smiles on their faces. It's not saying "Check out this link!", or "Nice avatar!", or "Ooh, I like Coldplay too!"

(She was fine, by the way. An actual friend of hers e-mailed me, and put my mind at rest.)

OK, so you and I are sentient, emotionally intelligent human beings who can easily distinguish the virtual world from the real world. But when you're taking a quick break in the office, are you more likely to hook up with your online "friends", or to turn round and talk to the flesh-and-blood people at the row of desks behind you? Which is the default option? Who knows you best? With whom do you have the most in common? In such instances, would you rather be your real life self, or the idealised avatar-based approximation of yourself? And on those occasions when you do meet up with your fellow bloggers in real life, do you ever find yourself "acting out" your online personality, staying true to that avatar? How do you address each other, if one or the other of you writes under a pseudonym? Does it feel more appropriate to continue using the pseudonym, because switching to real names seems a little too forward? And what of those Myspace types, eagerly amassing hundreds of "friends", some of whom genuinely do seem to be confusing virtual and real life notions of social interaction?

With our shiny Web 2.0 "friendships", we can eradicate the awkwardness, the mess, the sweat, the lumps, the bumps and the peculiar dark corners, in favour of edited and idealised representations of ourselves. If we're not careful, these ersatz relationships can start to feel more appealing than the real thing. And if we're prone to certain ways of thinking, then these illusions can easily convert into delusions.

Reality check: over the course of the past five and a half years, many of the people whom I have met through blogging have graduated into Proper Real Life Version 1.0 Friends. And that's great. Seriously great. But couldn't we come up with more fitting words than "friend", "neighbour" and "community" to describe our Web 2.0 interactions? Or would such a shift fatally undermine the business models that are springing up in the wake of this latest attempt at a paradigm shift?

(Ooh, I think I feel a conspiracy theory coming on! Who's with me?)

Labels: blogs, community, opinion, web

1. They are full of super-confident high achievers, comparing the advances they got from their book deals.

(If you are fortunate enough to be admitted to one of their conversational bouquets, the customary salutation is “Congratulations on [insert recent major achievement]! Can I just say that I love your work?”)

2. They are full of earnest geeks, assessing the latest plug-in widgets and swapping CSS hacks.

(A suggested conversation-opener: “So, is anyone Twittering the SXSW keynotes?”)

3. If you turn up on your own without knowing anyone, no-one will talk to you. In fact, they’ll think you’re a bit weird.

(Meeting total strangers off the Internet? Who would do such a thing?)

4. If you meet a blogger whom you a) don’t read or b) have never heard of before, admitting as much will spell certain social death.

(The recommended face-saver at such moments is “Oh! I am aware of your work!”)

5. The prime purpose of a blogmeet is to network, network, network. If you come away without being added to half a dozen new blogrolls, and without the phone numbers of a couple of good agents stuffed in your pocket, the event will have been a failure.

All of which is by way of a reminder that there’s a Nottingham blogmeet this Saturday, from 14:00 until mid-evening, in the café/ bar of the Broadway cinema on Broad Street. (If you're not local, here's a map.) All are welcome.

Labels: blogmeets, blogs, community, nottingham

Yes, it's Bloggies finalists time!

No, of course I wasn't. Don't mind me. I'll just sit here snivelling for a while, with only my nearly one million page views for comfort. No need to, you know, leave me a comment or anything. Why break the habit of a lifetime?

(Look, I've been going five and a half chuffing years. My Gloria Swanson phase is long overdue.)

Anyhow. It's double congratulations to Tokyo Girl Down Under, who achieves the unique distinction of qualifying for the "Best Australian/New Zealand" and the "Best Asian" categories. Now, that's what I call globe-straddling.

Over in the "Best African or Middle Eastern" category, I am pleased to see the delightful My Marrakesh - a blog which I only discovered yesterday, via my, erm, comments box. (Shut. Up.)

In "Best European", it comes as no great surprise to see My Significant Other Is A Silly Sausage popping up for the 50th year running. Oh, the ennui. As Annie Lennox was to the Brits, so Zoe Twat is to the Bloggies. Wouldn't be the same without, etc etc.

Ah, but look at this! What a turn-up! Joining last year's winner Girly One Track in the "Best British/Irish" category, what do we find but that inseparable pair of subversive scallywags: Andre of A Beautiful Revolution ("Woe Is Me, I Am All Alone, Like An Empty Drinks Can Tossed Into The Gutter, Now I Know How Joan Of Arc Felt, That Will Be 73 Comments Please Thank You Oh When Will This Misery End"), and Unreliable Witness of An Unreliable Witness ("Oh How I Loathe And Despise The Very Concept Of So-Called Blogging Awards Continued Page 94 Everybody Please Nominate Me Thank You.") The game's up, boys!

Pausing only to cup our hands to our mouths at the stultifying predictability of the "Best American" section, to wonder how the hell Pitchfork qualifies as a weblog in any meaningful sense of the word, and to sigh with dismay at what the "Best GLBT" category tells us about the state of the Queer Nation in 2007 (I'll leave Joe. My. God. to go into more detail on that one)...

...we skip merrily on to "Best Writing", where we find the awfully well-written Pandemian (I knew her when she was a Green Fairy) jostling for position with the splendid (even though I haven't read it in yonks, mea culpa) Waiter Rant.

And finally, making his second consecutive appearance in "Lifetime Achievement", we have darling Peter from Naked Blog, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Dooce, Fark, Slashdot and Wil Wheaton. Life begins at sixty!

If you feel the need to offer your condolences in the face of the scandalous snub that has been meted out to Troubled Diva (nearly one million page views and counting!), then my box is always open.

(In our business, we call this "drumming up trade".)

Update: Er, wow. I've just had it confirmed (Twitter private messaging, I salute you) that TD did in fact make the long-list for "Lifetime Achievement". That's totally awesome, and as much as I could possibly wish for, and greatly appreciated. Many thanks to everyone who took the trouble to vote.

Labels: blogawards, blogs, cliquey, ego

Finally, and almost a year after the idea was first mooted, Post of the Week is ready for public display. I bet you never thought you'd live to see the day, did you?

Absolutely everyone everywhere is heartily recommended to do any or all of the following:

1. Nominate cracking good blog posts for inclusion, via the comments box in the "Call for nominations" section.

2. Volunteer their services as a guest judge, for one weekend only.

3. Publicise the site on their own blogs. Pimp it, kids. Pimp it HARD.




Boundless thanks to Gordon, Lionel, Lyle, Nick and patita for all their efforts behind the scenes, and congratulations to The Overnight Editor for writing this week's inaugural featured post.

This is all very exciting. Good luck, Post of the Week! May you live long and prosper!

Labels: blogs, postoftheweek

(This is a cross-post with Rullsenberg Rules.)

It's time, don't you think? Since Nottingham is so centrally located - 1:40 by train from London, 1:16 from Birmingham, 2:25 from Manchester - and since we've never yet hosted a public blogmeet, and since Lisa Rullsenberg and I have been infected with a sudden dose of The Keens...

...and since, as we all know, the Best Fun is Organised Fun...

...well then, here goes.

The date: Saturday March 10th 2007.

The time: From around 2pm until mid-evening. Come when you like, leave when you like, stay for as long or as little as you like.

The venue: The ground floor café/bar of Broadway Cinema on Broad Street, in central Nottingham. 10 minutes by foot from the train station, or a short tram or taxi ride.

Here's a map (PDF format).

Licensed bar, hot and cold food available throughout the day, open plan, large tables, pleasant buzz, appropriate arts/media milieu. Because we do like a good milieu. No smoking, but it's only a quick hop outside for a crafty chuff.

The vibe: Friendly, welcoming and resolutely non-cliquey. Hell, Lisa and I have never even met; how could we be cliquey?

The door policy: All are welcome - from the Nottingham area, or from any other part of the UK. Or, indeed, The World.

Hope you can make it. See you there. I'll be the one in the nice smart shirt, trying to (*cough*) maintain level eye contact.

Labels: blogmeets, blogs, community, nottingham

The steady trickle of hits that I have been receiving from a password-protected "panelist" page on the 2007 Bloggies site can only mean two things. Firstly, that the judges are working through the "long-lists" (typically between 20 and 30 sites in each category, if memory serves correctly), and voting on which sites should make it through to the shortlists. Secondly, that Troubled Diva has made it onto one of the long-lists, most probably in the World's Best Poof category.

At the risk of sounding complacent and blasé, this doesn't come as a huge surprise, but for one very simple reason: unlike the majority of "gay" weblogs, the readers of Troubled Diva are mostly straight. Thus, when it comes to making nominations in the World's Best Poof category, they are more likely to think of TD. It's a cute enough little loophole, but not one to which any great measure of ego-stroking self-importance should be attached.

In any case, as anyone inside our cosy little loop would tell you, this year's Bloggies have been overshadowed by two vastly more important blogging award shebangs: the First Annual Insignificant Awards (who announced their winner yesterday), and the Second Annual Swampy Awards, which came out on Monday.

Now, since last year's "Swampy" (for Best British Blog; pictured left) constitutes the only accolade I have won since picking up the school Scripture prize in 1974 (always the chuffing bridesmaid, story of me life), you can imagine my horror at discovering that this year, I have been deposed by some upstart newcomer called Little Red Boat.

Well now. If that Anna Pickard thinks I'm going to graciously hand over my tiara without an unseemly scuffle, she's got another think coming. Frankly, she's going to have to prise it out of my jealous little fingers with a sharp instrument.

I'M STILL BIG!

IT'S JUST BLOGGING THAT GOT BIGGER!

I AM READY FOR MY HYPERLINK, MISTER KOTTKE!

Sorry. Just trying to maintain some Brand Consistency here.

(But sincere thanks to everyone who nominated. I'm no Ungrateful Diva.)

Labels: blogawards, blogs, community, ego, linkage, meta

"My place, posh frock, or else the Mother gets it."

And so, just three days after Girl With A One Track Mind first published it on her blog, and following a steady ground-swell of linkage from duly appalled fellow bloggers, an odious piece of e-blackmail from the Sunday Times finds itself at Number One on Google for a search on its author's name. Coming hot on the heels of last month's similarly successful blog-link campaign against a spam-commenting online florist, this is further proof of the power of the collective link.

Of course, some might maintain that Abby "One Track" Lee was "naive" for thinking that she could hang on to her anonymity, and that Hellen was only hastening the inevitable, and that the rest of us are being "naive" for throwing up our hands in maiden-auntish horror. Happens all the time, journalism's a rough old game, only doing his job, yadda yadda.

To which I say: isn't that the moral equivalent of justifying the theft of an unattended handbag on the grounds that someone was probably going to steal it anyway, and so you might as well get in there first?

Actually, no. It's worse than that. Handbags and their contents can be replaced; personal privacy can't be.

If Abby Lee and her supporters are to be branded as "naive", then that's only because, like most reasonable people, they operate from the assumption that most of us are still minded to treat each other with fairness, decency and respect. In which case, I'm glad that, in these hard-nosed, cynical times, Nicholas Hellen's e-mail still has the power to shock.

In any case, the balance of shaky assumptions lies firmly on Hellen's side. Assumptions that Abby Lee would comply with his demands through fear, or that her vanity and/or desire for "success" at any price (to use a somewhat dubious definition of the concept of "success") would send her rushing into the arms of her captors, posh frock in hand, ready for her Glamorous Makeover. Not to mention the assumption that the unmasking of the author of a newly published and still relatively unknown book constituted a legitimate, public-interest news story, fit for Page 3 of a "quality" Sunday broadsheet.

But perhaps Hellen's most "naive" assumption of all was in thinking that he could f**k with an extended community of nice, friendly, supportive people with Google Page Ranks of 5 and 6, and an aggregated readership of thousands, and get away with it. Hopefully, this little campaign will send out a signal to Old Media's most reptilian foot-soldiers, in possibly the only language they respect or understand, that we are NOT to be f**ked with in the future.

Labels: blogs, community, genderpolitics, linkage, onetrack, opinion

Marcello has started counting down his Top 50 albums of 2006; meanwhile, my mate Dymbel is episodically blogging the contents of his annual Best Of The Year mix CD, in a rolling post which expands more or less daily.

Diamond Geezer spotted an Olympic cock-up; the newspapers were alerted; the council apologised. Ever the provocateur, DG is now arguing in favour of closing 20% of Britain's post offices.

Why are bin bags so flimsy? Gordon posts the definitive answer.

JonnyB has been nominated for "Best UK Blog" by a bunch of yee-hah, woo-for-war neo-cons. As a result, a concerted collective attempt is being made to get him to win, thus striking a blow for... well, I'm not quite sure what, but a blow most certainly would be struck. Oh yes. At the time of writing, he is in second position and rapidly closing the gap on the current leader. In a thrilling twist on the principles of democracy (but hey, it wouldn't be the first time for this lot), you are permitted to cast a new vote every day. Hint. Hint.

And on a similar theme:(I wanted to nominate that funny American lady who lost her job and has a daughter, but I couldn't remember the URL.)

Labels: blogs, community, linkage

An Unreliable Witness asks:

Since getting out of medical chokey, I am completely and utterly and dreadfully uninspired by blogging. If I had something better to do with my time, I would do that. But I don't. So help me, O Diva of the Troubled! What's inspiring you in the world of blogging (I refuse to say blogosphere, or I may vomit copiously) these days? What should I be reading? What can I simply not miss?

Alas, alas, this is one of the perils of being Ancien Regime; for the days when I used to be able to spot Hot New Blogs before they Made It Big are long gone. These days, I'm more like the clapped-out old rock star who says things like "I'm getting into this great new band called the Kaiser Chiefs, have you heard of them?"

Consequently, all of my newest reads are the same ones that everyone else has been getting into: that chap who takes photographs of a bathmat, that unemployed lady who posts pictures of simian life-forms, that bloke who gets pissed off a lot... all very Hive Mind, I'm afraid.

(But do any of these "inspire" me? No, that would be the wrong word. Many, many blogs have inspired me over the years - not least because I'm a right old imitative bastard at heart - but currently, the bar for UK personal weblog writing is being raised so high that I'm finding myself rather over-awed by it all.)

(I'll tell you what the above three new-ish blogs do make me feel, though. They make me feel nostalgic. Nostalgic for the days when I was still discovering, on a daily basis, just what I could do with this medium - fired up with energy and enthusiasm, on a roll, breaking rules, taking risks, posting like a madman, and building my audience. There's a particular phase which a lot of blogs go through, somewhere towards the end of their first year of existence or thereabouts, where it all comes together and you can feel the buzz in the air. It's a lovely phase, and I enjoy bearing witness to it.)

On the music front, I've been enjoying the weekly "In The Dock" feature on The Art Of Noise, which is currently deliberating over whether Birmingham has a musical legacy which is worth defending. It's particularly refreshing to read a group of people talking about music without ostentatiously parading their knowledge, and without seeking to score points off one another.

However, if I am to target my recommendations specifically at you, dear Witness, then - having briefly paused to check your links page (and I see that Bathmat Boy, Monkey Lady and Furious Fella are already present and correct) - might I direct your attention to The Overnight Editor? I suspect that this will be Your Sort Of Thing... and indeed, many other people's Sort Of Thing besides.

Labels: blogs, cliquey, linkage, questions

1. Seen the Puppini Sisters, at a Halloween "burlesque" evening down The Social.

This was one of those nights when I find myself thinking, "Writing teeny-tiny gig reviewlets for t'local paper: is it really worth standing around in the oppressive heat, for hours on end, bored and restless, and unable to pass the time by drinking more than the statutory maximum of two pints of lager (even half a pint extra, and Drunkard's Block sets in; been there, tried that, got the shit article to prove it), when the headline act in question turns out to as underwhelming as this lot?"

I'd say more - but I know you don't come here for the music, so I shan't. Suffice it to say that the Puppini Sisters - an immaculately coiffed and maquillaged trio of not-actually-siblings, who specialise in mixing Andrews Sisters standards with Andrews-ified novelty covers of modern pop numbers (Wuthering Heights, Heart Of Glass, Panic), who would have been fine as a three-minute interlude on a TV chat show, and might have been OK in a swishy cabaret bar, with proper chairs and tables and waiters and stuff - were utterly unsuited to performing in a packed, sweaty rock venue, at half past eleven on a Tuesday night, to a glammed-up but rapidly wilting crowd whose Halloweeny goodwill had been gradually eroded by a succession of alternately amateurish and ill-matched support acts, and by a tedious and unjustifiable forty-five minute wait with nothing to do except get into fractious arguments with each other (just behind us), or faint (just in front of us).

(Did you enjoy that last sentence? I know I did.)

Anyhow, Alan at Reluctant Nomad (currently enjoying his second massive traffic spike in a month, and really quite the belle of the Internet these days, not that it will change him in any way, oh dear me no, although 18,000 page views in a day would certainly turn my head, at least just a little) has posted his own report - and also some photos of the sexy ginger-haired double bass player, who made our ordeal so much more bearable. (Note: Don't get too excited. He was heaps better in the flesh.)

2. Collapsed in a heap in front of the telly for two days.

Finding myself possessed of an overhwelming desire to be horizontal, with an achey breaky bod to match, I promptly excused myself from all professional commitments, and spent a perversely agreeable couple of days watching old movies, in a fuzzed-out swoon of grateful surrender.

(Best movie: The Card, starring Alec Guinness. Biggest let-down: Our Man In Havana, also starring Alec Guinness. Those afternoon schedulers on TCM and More4 sure do be liking their Alec Guinness movies.)

3. Had a Good Old Fashioned Big Gay Night Out In Nottingham.

"Oh! I'm in town on a Friday night! Oh, and K's away! Well, I must Go Out On The Scene, then! It's my duty! I'm not ready for the knacker's yard just yet, ha ha! Maybe they'll play the Scissor Sisters! Maybe I'll dance! Maybe someone will flirt with me! Even though I've got my specs on! Or "cruising shields", as I call them, ha ha! Not that I care one way or the other, of course! I'm beyond all that!"

Thus did I rage against the dying of the light. At some length. With Belle of the Internet Alan ("Whoops, Mind My Spike!") and Nurse Alan - and special guest TGI Paul, up from London for the weekend.

4. Attended a Big Old Birthday Blogmeet in London.

I really must stop getting totally bladdered on the night before "society" blogmeets, such as the one held in honour of Andre's 40th birthday, last Saturday afternoon/evening. That way, I wouldn't have to spend the first hour telling everyone how knackered I was and how little sleep I'd had, and that I was "running on empty", and "faking it". No-one likes to be told that the person they're talking to is "faking it", do they?

However, by setting expectations of social fabulousness at rock bottom, I was actually freeing myself from the anxiety which they could have induced. This turned out to be quite an effective strategy, and one which I could usefully bear in mind for the future.

And so, one pint of lager later, and thus restored to full functionality, I was working the room like the hoary old tart that I am. Damn, but it was great to see some of my bestest blogpals again - and equally, to meet others for the first time. It was a good mix in that respect - and, indeed, in every respect.

Shall we do a roll-call? Or will it just turn into one of those icky displays of linky-love, that can be so off-putting when you don't know the people concerned?

Nah, let's do a roll-call. In alphabetical order, so that people don't start reading things into randomness. (We're a sensitive bunch.) Off we go!

Abby "One Track" Lee.
"I don't know what I should be calling her", someone said to me during the course of the afternoon. "Do I say Abby, or [real name], or Girl, or what?"

"Well, Andre calls her One Track. Why not go with that?"

As was only right and proper, One Track and I got to share a couple of agreeably fruity exchanges along the way. One was at my instigation, involved webcams, and contained the punchline "So what was I supposed to do: reply to them with my nose?" More than that, I am not at liberty to divulge. You'll have to invent your own middle bit.

The other was at One Track's instigation, and concerned itself with the lamentable lack of lube-awareness within the heterosexual community. (I didn't realise that it was ever required for front-door action - but then, why would I? My sexual knowledge operates mainly on a need-to-know basis.)

On my return journey, I noticed that One Track's worthy little tome is currently at Number Two in the "best sellers" display at the St. Pancras station branch of WH Smith. Awesome or what!

Andre Revolution.
Birthday Boy Andre was showered with cards and compact-sized gift-ettes - a "Head Boy" badge here, a freshly laid farm egg there - and from me, a hand-crafted CD entitled (wait for it) A Beautiful Compilation. (My days of sighing semi-recumbence were not entirely unproductive, then.)

If you would like to assemble your own copy of A Beautiful Compilation, then you will need the following ingredients.(Yes, an "emotional journey". Well spotted, you.)

Anna P Boat.
Anna had a box of those little mini-photo-card things that you can get done off Flickr, and I have to say that they were absolutely gorgeous. I've never quite got the appeal of Flickr (especially when people stick Flickr pics on their blogs - they're so SLOW), but these little card things were enough to make me want to go off and take hundreds of photos, like, tomorrow or something.

Ann Pixeldiva.
Last time I saw Pix, it was in a "jazz curry" joint at Archway. We didn't chat for long enough this time, but you know how these things can be.

Anxious. (whose write-up is here)
I've been following Status Anxiety ever since the previous time we met (over a year ago), so Anxious was one of the people that I was particularly looking forward to seeing. We talked about all sorts, including - what else? - that ole devil called Anxiety. (She actually comes across as rather self-assured in real life, lest you should think otherwise. But I don't want to burst any bubbles. Invisible inner anx is still anx. Hell, I should know.)

Cheerful One. (who refers to the event, albeit obliquely, here)
I might be wrong, but Cheerful One was the only person at the meet that I don't recall even so much as saying "Hello" to. Bah! It's always the ones that get away that come back to haunt you...

Clare Boob Pencil.
Clare told us a long and involved story concerning her train journey to London, a sewing kit, various defective items of clothing, and a number of costume changes in the train's toilets. A little while later, she re-emerged in a different top. Is this evidence of some sort of compulsive costume changing syndrome?

Damian of Our Albion and Universal Critic. (whose write-up is here)
We had quite a long chat - but I was three pints down by that stage, and my memory had switched to RealPlayer streaming mode.

Girl on a Train.
She was on that bit of the table that I never quite managed to infiltrate, so we didn't do much more than wave and smile at each other.

Greavsie. (who avoids the subject here)
He got caught in the crossfire of my self-instigated and unpublishable webcam-related exchange with One Track - but coped with it manfully, I thought. Unlike someone else, of whom more in a bit...

Hydragenic.
Hg has been a Gentleman of Leisure for most of this year. I deeply envy his freedom, and the the unflustered serenity which it seems to have elicited.

JonnyB. (whose write-up is here)
We talked about blog sponsorship, and the Googlejuice which a carefully placed hyperlink can induce. (Until I linked to K's company's website with the words "canine cancer" the other day, the site was languishing in the 40s for the term in question. A couple of days later, it had shot up to fourth position. We bloggers don't always know what we're sitting on.)

Later on, as One Track and I steered our lube-based discussion onto foreskin-related territory (do circumcised cocks need more lube than uncut cocks?), something inside this sheltered East Anglian diarist cracked. Why, you could have heard his howl of trapped anguish all the way up to Covent Garden tube. How unlike the stoic sang froid demonstrated by Greavsie (see above). We do put our str8 boyz through the mill sometimes!

Karen Uborka, Pete Dot Nu and Baby Bernard.
As has been well documented, Baby Bernard could be said to owe his very existence to a blogmeet. The first baby of British blogging looked thrilled to be amongst us all, and gurgled merrily throughout. The cutest and most sunny-natured baby you ever did see - and I don't even like babies, so I speak without prejudice in this matter.

Leonie. (whose write-ups are here and here)
Again, we didn't really get past the nodding and smiling stage. She really is a very lovely looking lady, though. Is it OK to say that? Well, she is, dammit! I'm a big old poof-arse, I can say these things.

Mark Britblog-Technoranki.
"Are you here to arrange us all into alphabetical order?", I quipped, facetiously. Mark has just taken his fledgling Technoranki service to the next level - meaning that those of us Britbloggers who have registered with the site and added his thingy to our template now get a nice little PageRank graphic, and the chance to qualify for the Technoranki Top 200 chart. And as you should all know by now, I ain't half a sucker for a good chart. Especially one that puts me at Number... well, never mind about that.

Meg P Meish.
"I felt like a Betamax in a room full of DVDs", says the pioneering first-waver whom I have come to regard as the Dowager Duchess of British blogging. No, no, no. As Damian says in her comments box: Meg is like vinyl in a sea of MP3s. Wish she'd stayed longer; it had been ages, and I fancied a good long chat.

Mimi in New York.
Accompanied by her intrepid polar explorer boyfriend, and looking dazzling in a white woollen dress, Mimi was the afternoon's surprise guest. We could have chatted for much longer, were it not for the impertinent demands of a lager-swollen bladder (on my part) and the lure of Borat (on her part). We talked about her forthcoming book, and of the difficulties of sticking to one's literary guns when others would rather you dumbed down and sexed up.

Non-Working Monkey. (who briefly mentions the occasion here)
"Oh, you're Non-Working Monkey!", I exclaimed, brightly. "You're quite the Hot Blog of the moment, aren't you? Everyone keeps saying how good you are, and linking to you, and..."

"AAAARGH!", she squirmed, with what I took to be equal measures of embarrassment and delight. "Will people STOP SAYING THAT!"

Shiz good though, intshi? Are you reading her yet? Everybody else is!

Petite Anglaise. (whose write-up is here)
After Petite appeared on Richard and Judy a few months ago, we enjoyed a little e-mail exchange, during which she admitted that she "had kittens in the dressing room". As I reminded her, I then spent a full twenty-four hours thinking that Petite really did have real, live kittens in her dressing room, in best Mariah Carey diva-style - until K gently suggested that maybe, just maybe, she was using a figure of speech. I can be worryingly literal-minded at times.

Rachel Frizzy-Logic.
We talked world music, as we usually do, and I said "Have you heard of Tartit?" At which point, our high-minded cultural exchange somewhat collapsed in on itself. Hee hee, Tartit! Their new album's good, though...

Robin Parent.
We spent quite some time reverentially invoking the spirit of Peter @ Naked Blog, and its recent feline off-shoot. Have you seen Peter's debut vidcast yet? A master class in semi-inebriated eloquence, so it is...

Tim "Free Man In" Preston. (whose write-up is here)
Winner of the Best Personal Blog award at the recent inaugural Manchester Blog Awards, no less. Such exalted company we keep these days...

Unlucky Man.
Had to disappear early, due to reasons amply documented elsewhere. The "living up to the name of his blog" gag has been done as well. Hey ho!

Here is a photo of five of the above-mentioned attendees. Can you spot who is who?

(I have done other things in the last week-and-a-bit, but we'll be here all night. Part Two soon come.)

Labels: blogmeets, blogs, cliquey, clubs, friends, journal, popmusic