But I *am* on the beach… almost.

A number of well-meaning souls have chided me for blogging when I should be on the beach. Actually, the beach starts about 10 yards from where I’m sitting, in the shade of the resort’s open-sided bar area. It’s lovely and cool in here, and the resort’s one public laptop is available more often than it’s not.

Earlier in the week, an enormous private yacht appeared in the middle distance, where it hovered around for a day or so. The hull was painted dark blue, and it looked as if you could land helicopters at the back.

K got quite excited. “That belongs to the Number Two guy at Microsoft! I saw something about it on the telly a few weeks ago!”

Sceptical as ever, I sat him down in front of the laptop. We Googled.

“Look, you see? It’s a completely different yacht. Honestly, just because you’ve happened to watch some TV programme… you don’t half get some funny ideas… yap yap… dig dig…”

(Oh dear, what has he married?)

But K remained adamant. “I just know there’s some sort of connection with the Microsoft guy.”

A couple of days later, and we’re at a sunset drinks reception on the beach, talking to a nice woman from the resort’s management team. The late sunlight casts an almost surreal glow on the sand and the sea. Combine this with the tidy clumps of dressed-for-dinner guests, sipping champagne and nibbling on canapes served by uniformed staff, and the effect is eerily reminiscent of a Jack Vettriano canvas.

(Which is slightly bothersome, as I’ve never had much time for Mr Vettriano and his jumped-up greetings-card “art”. Why, I could almost be converted. I said: almost.)

“You do know who that big yacht belongs to, right?”, she asks.

“Well, we thought it might be the Number Two guy from Microsoft, but…”

“No, it belongs to the manager of Chelsea football club.”

“What, R0man Abram0v1ch?”

“Yes… his yacht’s often around here. One evening, his young son pitched up on this beach with a small tent, ready to camp out for the night – surrounded by a ring of half a dozen security guards! We had to say No…”

Later that evening, we Google a second time. Well, what do you know: Abram0v1ch bought the yacht (“Le Grand Bleu”) a few years ago, from….

…yup, the Number Two guy at Microsoft.

If you’ve never seen K’s “vindicated” look, then it’s quite a sight to behold: a very particular kind of Cheshire Cat grin, but based around retracted lips and bared gums. “Smug” doesn’t begin to cover it.

And he can keep it up for hours.

But then we are on honeymoon, hurr hurr.

ADMIN: Apparently, a few are getting your comments rejected by the YACCS spam filters. I’ve just had a little fiddle with the settings. Try it again and let me know if it’s any better, OK?

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