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shaggy blog stories · shared items · twitter · village blog · you're not the only one Saturday, February 24, 2007
The Reluctant Nomad Amsterdam Anagram Metro Map.
My dear friend Alan, who has been living in Amsterdam since the beginning of the year, really has excelled himself with this one. Take a look at his version of the Amsterdam metro map, with all the station names replaced by their anagrams, and hover your cursor over each station name for its real-life equivalent. (Background and explanation is here.)
If you think that sounds a bit dull and non-clickworthy, than all I can say is: wait until you see the station names. Oo-er!
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Monday, January 22, 2007
Oh, for goodness' sake: let's get Amsterdam Part 3 out of the way, and then we can all move on with our lives.
Part 1 is here, and Part 2 is here. This will be somewhat shorter.
Long post-Cockring lie-in. Aching bod, thick head, brave face. Out for pad thai, in an almost deserted wok bar. Not at my chattiest. Thankfully, Alan and I have known each other long enough to be comfortable with companionable silences. Quick peek at the flower market; obviously not at its most colourful, although some of the stalls had still managed to rustle up some tulips from somewhere. How does that work? Shortcut through the chi-chi fine art galleries, and on to the Rijksmuseum; currently undergoing renovation, but with a condensed "greatest hits" show on display round the back. This worked in our favour, as there was just enough to see without having to skip anything. Besides, an hour and a half is all you need at the best of times. The exhibition climaxed, inevitably, with Rembrandt's The Night Watch. Yes, I know it's a Masterpiece - but this was at least my third viewing, if not my fourth, and I still retain no abiding visual memory of it. Tea and biscuits, bought from the grocery opposite Alan's apartment. Spotted on display by the till: cannabis flavoured lollipops, in a suitably "herbal" shade of green. You know, just so the "Little 'Uns" don't feel left out. Only in Amsterdam, eh readers? Early evening beers in a surprisingly busy Twinksville, our ears once again battered by late 1980s/early 1990s commercial dance hits on endless shuffle. Don't twinks listen to contemporary music any more? Goodbye hugs and thank yous, as I head off to the airport and Alan heads straight back to bed. But I thought I was trying to keep up with him, not the other way round? Ah well, no matter. That's a good couple of months worth of Gay Points usefully accrued in advance. Lovely weekend. I'll be back.
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Amsterdam, Part 2.
(You might want to read Part 1 first.)
Saturday afternoon. After lunch, Alan and I wandered northwards to the temporarily relocated Stedelijk museum, now stuck out in a "post-industrial space" near the Central Station, and accessible via a series of wind-lashed pontoons. Regrettably, the museum's fine permanent collection of contemporary art was not on display. Instead, we had to make do with a load of half-baked, indifferently executed, wilfully obscure and largely clueless pile of ropey old conceptual-art-wank toss-bollocks. That most wretched and aesthetically bankrupt of genres, "video art", dominated much of the space - but it was surpassed in pointlessness by a vast installation of crudely scrawled "political" graffiti which would have shamed an SWP convention for the under-12s. However, the overall disappointment was at least redeemed by some stunningly powerful and disturbing photography, shot in South Africa and Israel, which landed some massive sucker-punches to popular perceptions of both nations. Our cultural duties fulfilled, we rewarded ourselves with leisurely early evening drinks at the Queen's Head on Zeedijk, which connects the Central Station area with the Nieuwmarkt. The street is reassuringly chi-chi at the top end (K would have been in his element), before yielding to some funkier shops and bars, and a mini Chinatown. We liked the moderately chi-chi Queen's Head, which benefits from not being a "destination" gay venue, but more of a low-key regulars' haunt. It's the sort of place which you could visit regularly on your own with a newspaper or a book, slowly building your relationship with it. Saturday night. Our half-hearted plans to pay brief lip-service to "coffee shop" culture ran swiftly aground, as 30 seconds inside the raucous Bulldog on Leidseplein were enough to signal that it wasn't our scene. On we trolled, to the campy bars around the Amstel, for a restorative contrast to Twinksville and the Dead Cow Zone. Monmartre was quieter than we had led to expect - that mid-January effect again - but there was still enough residual jollity to spread around, and a much higher ratio of smiles to pouts than we had become used to. Around the corner, the venerable Amstel Tavern instantly felt like home, with its traditional decor, its Delft mugs hanging from the ceiling, its welcoming bar staff and its camp-as-tits musical playlist. Disco-pop classics merged into singalong Dutch schlager (and boy, did people sing along), taking in a healthly dollop of Eurovision along the way (Teach-In's "Ding Dinge Dong" in its original Dutch version, woo-hoo, I have found my level at last!). Best bar yet. Up the road and off to the west of Dam Square, it was nipple-to-nipple at Prik, the city's newest gay venue, which was celebrating its six month anniversary with half price drinks all night. A solid and seemingly impenetrable wall of flesh had to be squeezed through in order to get much more than two feet inside the doors - but we are nothing if not persistent, and minor irritations like having half a glass of lager sloshed down my cleavage weren't going to hold us back. Prik is the nearest thing that Amsterdam has to a lively and pumping Soho venue such as Bar Code, with a more cosmopolitan and recognisably Urban Gay Scene crowd to match. It is, without a doubt, the biggest Destination Venue of them all right now. Wedged into the back bar, Alan and I spent the next couple of hours benignly observing the bobbing throng, as they jiggled their bits to an eclectic mix of classic and cheesy hits: Blondie, The Cure, Kylie, New Order, and MC Miker G & and DJ Sven's lost classic "Holiday Rap". A clump of drunken Irishmen handed out glowsticks, before brandishing inflatable guitars and roaring along to "Copacabana". Oh, it was a scene and a half. On the way out, I remarked to Alan: You know, that would have been most people's idea of sheer bloody Hell, and I can't even explain why I enjoyed it. I mean, all we did was stand there with drinks in our hands while getting pushed and shoved by a crowd of total strangers - and yet it was great. What's that all about? The night ended back in - oh look, shall I just spell it out this time - COCKRING. There, I've said it. Cockring. We went to a club called Cockring. Is everybody here OK with that? More of the same, only for longer. Heaps of fun. But let's not dwell, eh? (I'll wrap this up tomorrow.) Labels: amsterdam, art, bars, clubs, friends, gay, journal, travel
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Monday, January 15, 2007
Oh darlings, Amsterdam has pooped me good and proper.
Try as I might to deny that I'm getting a little too old for Good Old Fashioned Big Gay Weekends, every nerve and synapse is currently telling me otherwise. Pack it in, Grandad, they screech, woundingly.
But I still have my drives and my juices, I protest, unconvincingly. And anyway, look at Alan. He's got a couple more miles on the clock than me, and he can still do it. Yes, but even Alan knows when to call it a night. Remind us, what time did you leave the club on Sunday morning? 5am, wasn't it? So what was that all about? Oh, but I'm incorrigible. It's that blasted Second Wind, coupled with the feeling that since I don't get out much any more, I should try and squeeze every last drop of experience from the situation. And now, as Michael "Mouse" Tolliver once memorably said in Tales Of The City, I am all Gayed Out. Don't want to get within sniffing distance of those awful places - at least not until the next time that our newly depleted gang congregates in the Lord Roberts for one of our midweek sessions. Here's where we went. Friday night. We commenced our tour of inspection on Reguliersdwarsstraat: the spiritual home of Amsterdam's twink brigade. Think Kouros, think CK1, think... well, what is the fragrance of choice for the C21st twink, anyway? I am out of touch with such matters. The Soho bar was all faux-antiquity and "repro" stylings, with all the charm and individuality of a Wetherspoons or an All Bar One. Their attempt at cosiness was fatally sabotaged by the deafening soundtrack: a numbing parade of late 1980s and early 1990s commercial dance music, which set the musical tone for most of the weekend. Those Dutch queens sure do be loving their Crystal Waters, their Rozalla, their early-period Whitney 'n Mariah. The April bar has expanded since my last visit, and is now dominated by three vast circular bars, with seating around each circumference. This doesn't work too well, as the arrangement puts too much distance between each punter, and the in-between areas feel like wasted space. Consequently, the ambience felt a little too stark, remote, impersonal. Over the road, the newish Arc bar was packing them in. It is clearly one of the major Destination Venues, attracting an arrestingly high number of stylishly turned out beauties. We stood, we gawped, we paid all due deference. A couple of doors down, Exit is one of the city's only two gay dance clubs. It hasn't changed at all in the 17 years since my first visit - but on a Friday night in the middle of January, numbers were somewhat thin on the ground. We hung out in the bar at the top of the main stairs, waiting for the late surge - but when none materialised, we moved on, leaving the antiseptic comforts of Twinksville behind for the sleazy raunch of Warmoestraat. Most of the Warmoestraat bars are destined forever to be closed doors to me, catering as they do for the Dead Cow brigade. I don't have the outfits, and would hate for my Paul Smith stripes to cause an outbreak of mass detumescence. However, the city's second gay dance club is situated halfway up the street, and despite its somewhat alarming name (which modesty precludes me from spelling out), its relaxed door policy welcomes all comers (ahum) to the party. Dance floor in the basement (pretty decent dubby funky house), bar in the middle, and yup-you've-guessed-it on the top floor. Despite the undeniable sexual crackle in the air, we found this to be the most relaxed and unpretentious venue of the night. Saturday daytime. Alan and I hooked up with Caroline for coffee in the Nieuwmarkt district, followed by a long, lazily paced and delicious lunch at a nearby Chinese/Japanese restaurant. (Bubble tea, that's a new one on me. I particularly liked the tight little To be concluded on the morrow. In the meantime, take a look at Alan's account of the weekend. Labels: amsterdam, bars, clubs, friends, gay, journal, travel
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Open Mike #6 - Question 8.
Cliff asks: Name your 5 cities INCLUDING songs to go with them.
Working on the assumption that Cliff was looking for a list of my five favourite cities... 1. London. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks. Need you ask why? Gets me every - and I mean every - time. 2. Barcelona. Barcelona - D.Kay & Epsilon featuring Stamina MC. Because it was a hit while I was working there, and it reminds me of some good nights out in the old town. My boss at the time liked this, and he was a nice guy, so it all ties together. 3. New York. Peace (In The Valley) - Sabrina Johnston. The Saint at Large Halloween Party at the Roseland Ballroom, October 1991. It was my first ever big night out in New York City, and I had accidentally stumbled across one of the major events of the gay social calendar. Sabrina Johnston sang this on stage at around 3am. One of those sometimes-life-is-just-like-the-movies moments. 4. Amsterdam. Amsterdam - Peter Bjorn & John. I'm looking forward to a few more visits in 2007, as my good friend Alan @ Reluctant Nomad will be working over there for 12 months, starting in January. I'm going to miss him horribly, of course - but at least there will be compensations along the way. 5. Stockholm. Once In A Lifetime - Ines. Fond memories of the Best! Eurovision! Disco! Ever! at the Tip Top club, Spring 2000, the year that "Fly On The Wings Of Love" won. Ee, the tales I could tell about that weekend... Runners-up: Hanoi, Paris, Berlin, San Francisco, Boston, Marrakech, Riga, Shanghai, Lisbon, Istanbul.
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I appear to be all out of Words.
No matter. Write Them, And They Will Come.
(I'd cop out and do you a vidcast instead, but I sense a looming backlash in the air.) Marrakech was lovely. Next to no street hassles (we dressed smartly, which helped), a beautiful Marrakech riad (I promised the nice Dutch owners that I'd bestow the gift of Googlejuice), good shopping (once you leave the souks), stylish restaurants (Dar Moha and Foundouk were our favourites), pleasant weather (fractionally too cool to sunbathe, hence perfect for wandering about)... ack, holiday-blogging, who needs it? But thank you for your recommendations; many of them were acted upon. (Ooh, that Yves St Laurent cactus garden was lov-er-ley.) I have taken up a new hobby. It is called Reading Books. They might be the next big thing after vidcasts - but they do take rather a long time to read, when you could be skim-reading blogs instead, and it's difficult to read them at work, so maybe not. The tired-all-the-time syndrome is improved, but it hasn't altogether disappeared. However, Positive Steps are being taken, so fret not. And how are you?
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25 favourite posts 2007: the year in blog 2007: the year in mike 25 things to do: before i die 25 things to do: before you die accommodating: the f-word all time: fave singles ambushed: by unexpected emotion apotheosis of blog: 1a / 1b / 1c / 2 / 3 arbeit: macht frei archbishop: sex shop scandal are you: a proper blogger? astrology: hmm (1) (2) autographs: the collection bands which: left me cold battle: of the band aids big nights out: what changed? blending: with the english blogging tips: for newcomers best music: 07 / 06 / 05 / 04 / 03 / 02 / 01 / 00 blogmeets: popular myths dispelled bobbly fruit & pillows: for whom? bob dylan: suggested coping strategies book review: 2005 blogged boutique hotels: never again boutique shag: squint squint squint bridget riley: & wolfgang tillmanns bt vision: diary of horror carnet: parisien celebrity angst: what to do? chino latino: get shum bongo clapped out has been: yes or no? conkers: bonkers! conversation: with an 11 year old cottaging: fond memories crisp sharp edges: k's guest blog cross butts: the aga was a godsend cumberland hotel: i want my apples! daddy: what's sex? dancing the hard house: on beer do ya: think i'm sexy? dreams: of returning duckie: hula hoops & hoo-hahs easter holiday: in numbers emotional tailspin: inner retreat fashion: sexy no-no's famous people: i could be fave albums: of the 1970s flush: of shame future dream: shopping scheme gay partnership rights: blah gay up: me duck general election 2005: 1 / 2 god-man: in the airport grandad's on: the guest list happy happy happy: splurge hi i'm ken: gayest moment ever hiking: to the gate how much: do you WHAT? if wishes: were horses... ...beggars: would ride i have bought: a pedometer!!! if wishes: were horses... inland empire: oh, the agony iPods: feel the love iPods: feel the pain it's time: the tale was told john peel: and the "noble savage" jongleurs: nottingham latvian baywatch interlude: beaver patrol! lit crit: bitch sesh longnor nights: ronnie corbett ramble magisterial: coruscations membrillo: cottage style me, dear 1: local media calleth me, dear 2: good morning nottingham memories: of the cerne giant michael's big day: with "the creatives" motoring: with mike and k my desk: exhaustively annotated my mummy: the movie star my mummy: the vogue model my week: barcelona business wonkery naked diva: port in a storm (parody) new dawn fades: failed space-age nicholas hellen: the new serenata flowers one night in: amsterdam on this day: 1966/76/86/96 orange mivvis: wrong message? petite anglaise: book review philip pullman: the vignette phuket nights: before the flood political mike: what happened? poofs & lezzers: in pop popbitch: worst records racist ducks: by request recitatively yours: in beeston regarding: regards reiki: balancing me chakras, like remove power: and we have nothing resolution watch: happy endings rvt: a diva perspective sambuca drinking game: just DON'T should gay men: give blood? sky mirror: a sudden profusion social smoking: who said oxymoron? soft furnishings: a social history songs: containing lists spiked: a cautionary tale statement: of jadedness successes: and unknowns sunshine, balance: and lurrve swanky do: playing the game tacky stab: celeb status ta-dah: rough tasting notes tales from: amsterdam: 1 / 2 / 3 tatchell/humphries: today howler thatchenfreude: stuff of nightmares the secret: gay signal the thespian life: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 the world won't end: 9/12 the year in blog: 2003 too many people: multiple mikes through bad times: and good trams: so this is hucknall? trashy pop: a justification trentbeat: the nottingham sound tufts: and chuffs unlikely: new interest up for grabs: in both senses vinyl countdown: re-learning the rituals what i did: on saturday when good cliques: go bad whither: the political blog? whore to culture: why opera bores me why i like: queenie working in paris: 5 stages you lattay: i lartay return to sidebar menu we freelanced... ADULT., battant agnostic mountain gospel choir, congregation alison moyet amp fiddler amy winehouse, mr. hudson & the library ...and you will know us by the trail of dead andy williams the automatic, mumm-ra barry adamson the beat, neville staple beyoncé black kids, team waterpolo black mountain bonnie "prince" billy boy george breeders british sea power, make model bucks fizz, brotherhood of man buena vista social club bugz in the attic cardiacs cocorosie david essex delays diana ross donny osmond drive-by truckers duffy duke special duran duran dv8 physical theatre erasure euros childs evan dando fallout trust, computerman the feeling feist fionn regan foals from the jam (may 2007) from the jam (dec 2007) the futureheads gary numan: replicas tour get cape. wear cape. fly. girls aloud glasvegas the gossip greg dulli & the twilight singers guillemots, joan as police woman hard-fi, the rumble strips here and now tour 2008 hidden cameras hope of the states i'm from barcelona imogen heap joe lean & the jing jang jong john barrowman journey south juana molina ken dodd laura veirs liza minnelli lorna luft los campesinos! low manu chao maria mckee the musical box: selling england... nouvelle vague, gabriella cilmi nuru kane & bayefall gnawa the orb the osmonds palladium pam ann piney gir pink prince public enemy puppini sisters rachel unthank & the winterset the rascals richmond fontaine rihanna rodrigo y gabriela (2006) rodrigo y gabriela (2007) ryan adams & the cardinals scissor sisters secret machines seth lakeman the sugababes system 7 twilight sad the verve, reverend & the makers victorian english gentlemens club, das wanderlust westlife white denim the x factor live yazoo young knives, ungdomskulen slate magazine: america, meet the eurovision song contest agnostic mountain gospel choir: ten thousand ali farka touré: savane athlete: beyond the neighbourhood brett anderson: brett anderson british sea power: do you like rock music? bucks fizz: the very best of datsuns: smoke & mirrors defected presents: charles webster duke special: songs from the deep forest erasure: light at the end of the world george michael: twenty five golden afrique vol.3 hard-fi: once upon a time in the west hidden cameras: awoo kevin ayers: the unfairground lady sovereign: public warning lcd soundsystem: sound of silver marc almond: stardom road mountain goats: get lonely mr. hudson & the library: a tale of two cities queer noises 1961-1978: from the closet to the charts rufus wainwright: does judy at carnegie hall rufus wainwright: does judy! judy! judy! 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· tallinn 2002: mike's estonian eurovision fiesta · riga 2003: the seven stages of eurovision · 2004: previews · 2005: previews · 2005: too many effing drums · athens 2006: backstage reports from rehearsals week · athens 2006: america, meet the eurovision song contest · 2007: previews return to sidebar menu we read...
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1990-92: the social linchpin years anglesey abbey: winter garden banyan tree: phuket barbara hepworth: sculptures civil partnership: 2006 cottage garden (pdmg#1): 2003 cottage garden (pdmg#1): 2005 blurb cottage garden (pdmg#1): 2005 pics cottage garden (pdmg#1): 2007 manifold valley: easter stroll mike's 40th party: 2002 nottingham guest team: george's 2004 stiles: of the white peak thrill: to my tulips trevor hall: jimmy's 70th birthday bash vietnam pics: 2002 virtual tour: cottage virtual tour: nottingham virtual tour: blurb xmas greetings: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 return to sidebar menu we guested...
big blogger 2005: festival of blog "last to be picked" champions league fancy dress (and ill-advised drag) my greatest pride... ... and my greatest shame a tale for the little ones * irrational fears & how to overcome them the seven ages of mike seven deadly sins of blogging where are they now? * seven stonkers & seven honkers seven reasons why i don't want a dog (* warning: contains in-jokes) feeling listless: review 2005: if it moves, rank it guild of ghostwriters (hand-drawn): When I Was A Little Boy... The Professionals Introvert (all three in one place) leftlion magazine: gay up me duck my boyfriend is a twat: troubled twat, or my boyfriend is a diva popping out for meat neil's wild years: 1993: doya do do do doya 1994: away with the fairies 1995: things they'll never see sashinka: introduction finger food hosting company from hell enforced jollity capsule review: blondie fun facts about toilet paper dry your eyes, mate ah, barcelona swisstoni's place: earworms of the week the art of noise: in the dock: the eurovision song contest 5x5 the naked novel (a collaborative work of modern fiction): chapter 3 tranniefesto ("collaborative dialogue"): conversations of an email variety uborka: channel 4 script editors eat your neighbour recipes of yesteryear YAHNET acronyms online enagement party: (1) (2) a song from under the floorboards chapter 8: pandora's inbox (start here) wherever you are ("consequences"): sorry, did that spoil it for everybody? return to sidebar menu we hosted...
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It's all © Mike, thank you very much. I don't mind if you nick the odd paragraph; credit me and link back, and we can still be friends. But no funny business, OK? I know lots of people, and we'll all laugh and point at you, and then you'll feel, ooh, that high. Snarl. Please note that all spam comments will be deleted, even the ones that pretend to be nice.
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