The Faux Oscars.

(posted by Mr. D.)

“…. and I’d also like to thank ……….”

The Phrontistery, who lured me to Tinka’s “Distant Sun” blog (because I’m a “Crowded House” fan too) and of course Tinka herself, who advocated visiting the Troubled Diva, which I did, or I wouldn’t be here today …

(I actually typo’d that as “toady” – thank Microsoft for SpellChecker!) ….

Camera pans back to the podium .. Mr.D. pauses to draw breath, stop blubbing etc.

Picking from the virtual CV which won me this Guest Blog, I’d suggested to mein host that it was like inviting someone to share your “Meal for one” – utterly selfless, but you’re gonna be hungry.

So, without wanting to fawn, dear, I would like to state my gratitude to Mike for this opportunity to share what is, essentially, a very personal medium and hope that my morsels and musings don’t detract you from The Man Himself.

Oh, and, er, yes, Little.Red.Boat is peerless – please read her input if you do nothing else.

Mr. D. (see Track 1 “Goat’s Head Soup” by the beat combo The Rolling Stones).

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Notebooks Out, Plagiarists.

(posted by noodle)

I feel like I’m babysitting. And I’ve always been so poor at handling responsibility and all. Must resist the temptation to raid the drinks cabinet and rifle through the wardrobes for pr0nography.

And this week’s guest contributors are…

…in alphabetical order…

1. Anna Pickard of little.red.boat.

I am slightly embarrassed to admit that, after all my talk of wanting to achieve a healthy Gender Balance for guest week, Anna turns out to be the token female of the group. Yes: Troubled Diva is set to become a heaving hotbed of pumping testosterone over the next seven days, with only Anna on hand to redress the inequality.

Why so? Well – contrary to all my expectations, it has to be said – I had considerably more male than female volunteers to choose from. Once I had whittled them down to a shortlist, and once I had eliminated anybody who I had ever met in real life (a particularly capricious and brutal rule to apply, but I had to cut the list down somehow), Anna was the last female standing. Simple as that.

Am I sounding a trifle over-defensive here? Yes, I guess I am.

Let’s put it another way, then. Remember when I said that I was looking for a Liberty X, not a Hear’say? Well, I think what I’ve actually done is created a Blondie, with Anna as its Debbie Harry.

(No, I don’t know who is supposed to be Chris Stein, or Clem Burke, or, er, the other ones. Because that would be stretching the conceit too far.)

Anna is also the token “person blogging under her own full name”. Her weblog is an utter delight, and should be mandatory reading for absolutely everybody in the whole wide world. Bar none.

2. D of Acerbia.

Like the popular 90s rock band Bush, and the popular 80s rock band The Fixx, Acerbia enjoys the peculiar distinction of being a British weblog with absolutely heaps of recognition in the States, but with more of a niche/cult appeal in the UK. (At least if his comments boxes are to be believed. Or maybe that’s just American forthrightness and British reserve coming into play.) This is one of the reasons why I wanted D on board: he has a great site, full of knife-edge humour and unpredictable twists and turns, and it’s high time that a few more Brits were made aware of his unique talents.

A nominee for “Best European Weblog” in the 2003 Bloggies, and for “Best Humourous Weblog” in the 2002 Bloggies, I guess makes D our token Celebrity Weblogger. He is also our token Graphic Design Genius: have you seen some of the stuff he does on his site? It’s genius, I’m telling ya.

3. Faustus M.D. of The Search For Love In Manhattan.

Long-standing readers will have heard me bang on about the brilliance of The Search For Love In Manhattan many times over the past year, and so it is a particular pleasure to welcome Faustus onto the team. As well as being our token American (although D can also claim lineage), Faustus is – another shock, this – our token Homosexual. Yes, it’s Heterosexual Week on Troubled Diva alright! So c’mon Faustus, fag it up!

4. Mr. D. of no fixed abode.

So – we have a D and a Mr. D. Confusing, huh? Oh, I’m sure you’ll cope.

Mr. D., a regular reader and occasional commenter, is our token Person Without A Weblog (I was particularly keen for this to happen), and thus our token Comparatively Unknown Quantity. His lengthy and engaging application letter was enough in itself for me to give him the gig, without any further consideration being needed. I shall say no more about him now, except that I have every confidence that by the end of the week, you will have all clasped him to your collective bosom.

5. noodle vague of The World, Backwards.

Like The Search For Love In Manhattan, The World, Backwards is one of very few weblogs which has prompted me to go all the way back to the first entry in its archives and work my way, er, forwards. Token existentialist beat poet, and token enemy of capitalisation, noodle has lead me to believe that we might expect something different from his usual brand of feelgood hit-and-run nihilism. But whatever he does, rest assured that it will be Class.

Oh, did I not mention that I have gone for five, not four guest contributors? Couldn’t be helped, I’m afraid. This is going to be a fascinating week. So keep it locked on dubya dubya dubya DOT troubleddiva DOT co DOT you kay, why dontcha?