Equal 4th place – The 2000s. (21 points)
2005: 4th place, 27 points.
2004: 5th place, 26 points.
2003: 4th place, 27 points.
9: Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U) – Hi_Tack. 5th place.
8: Sugar We’re Goin’ Down – Fall Out Boy. 4th place.
7: You Got The Love (New Voyager mix) – The Source featuring Candi Staton. 1st place, most popular.
6: Check On It – Beyonce featuring Slim Thug. 4th place.
5: All Time Love – Will Young. 2nd place.
4: Run It – Chris Brown featuring Juelz Santana. 5th place.
3: Boys Will Be Boys – The Ordinary Boys. 4th place.
2: Nasty Girl – Notorious BIG featuring Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm. 4th place.
1: Thunder In My Heart Again – Meck featuring Leo Sayer. 5th place, least popular.
With each passing year, as humiliation upon humiliation is heaped upon the beleaguered 2000s, so my desire to see them do well increases. It’s the usual Support The Underdog syndrome, in other words. But how can you help a decade which so steadfastly refuses to help itself?
Despite having disqualified one single from this year’s 2006 top ten (Dead Or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)”) on the grounds that it was a straight re-release (and substituting the record at Number 11, Will Young’s “All Time Love”), our top ten is still riddled with re-mixes, re-makes and re-hashes. Hi_Tack and Meck have slapped perfunctory dance beats and hackneyed sound effects on top of a couple of quote-unquote “forgotten classics”. An old Candi Staton vocal from 1986 gets re-issued for the third time, with yet another backing track. A rapper who has been dead for 9 years is milked for cash yet again, surrounded by as many hangers-on – sorry, sincere admirers and upholders of his legacy – as could fit in the studio. And even one of the few original compositions is a re-release from June 2005, hyped up on the back of the singer’s appearance on Celebrity Big Brother.
Of the acts that remain, one is another direct product of Reality TV (Shayne Ward, the recent winner of X Factor), and another (Will Young) owes his inital exposure to winning Pop Idol. Which leaves two US R&B acts (complete with their now obligatory second fiddles in the “featuring who?” slots) and one young British indie band. Hardly a vintage selection, in other words – and containing precious little that could be held to encapsulate the best of contemporary pop.
And didn’t this just show up in your votes! Only two songs (“You Got The Love” and “All Time Love”) placed inside their respective top twos, and the remaining eight all songs placed either fourth or fifth. Is this mere generational bias (after all, the Troubled Diva readership is a tad light on Yer Actual Young People these days) – or, four years into our survey, is the consistently low placing of the 2000s an indicator of a harsh objective truth?