#3, 1968: This Guy's In Love With You - Herb Alpert. (video)
#3, 1978: Substitute - Clout. (video)
#2, 1968: Fire - The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown. (video)
#2, 1978: You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John. (video)
#1, 1968: Mony Mony - Tommy James and the Shondells. (video)
#1, 1978: Three Times A Lady - The Commodores. (video)
Listen to a short medley of all six songs.

Final tie-break results:
1968: Mony Mony - Tommy James and the Shondells. (141)
1968: Fire - The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown. (132)
1968: This Guy's In Love With You - Herb Alpert. (125)
1978: You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John. (106)
1978: Substitute - Clout. (105)
1978: Three Times A Lady - The Commodores. (84)

1968: Mighty Quinn - Manfred Mann. (video)
1978: Take A Chance On Me - Abba. (video)
1988: I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue. (video)
1998: Doctor Jones - Aqua. (video)
2008: Mercy - Duffy. (video)
Listen to a short medley of all five songs.

Have I really wasted 20 years of my life hating this record? Listening to it now, it all seems so...so... innocuous. How could I have expended so much passion loathing something that is ultimately this harmless?

I was too old for this back in 1988. Now, I'm not.

Running totals so far - Number 1s.

1978: Take A Chance On Me - Abba (155)

Like an express train to the heart. Almost too perfect. (betty)

There isn't a single phrase of praise about this group or song I can think of that hasn't already been said. (asta)

There is no chance of objectivity or shocking revisionism when it comes to me and Abba. This record's genius is so easy to love because its art seems so carefree - which is never to be confused with "careless." The sudden explosion of frank emotionalism from the general subtly tantalising vocal delivery on Frida's part ("'cos you know I've GOT...") are the difference between living and existing and the thought of Agnetha and Frida amiably and simultaneously winking with their "I ain't gonna let ya" and "soon I'm gonna get ya" inspire thoughts in me which are inappropriate for a blog family audience. (Marcello Carlin)

The girls are singing the words that the boys want to hear, but it seems clear that these are boy's words, of vulnerability and patience and longing, the pitiful cajoling of the spurned. When she finally realises she's made a mistake, he'll have moved on to an inferior version and he'll be too polite to abandon her. I hear missed opportunities and unhappy relationships. With a disco beat. Probably the best song of the fifty. (imsodave)

I remember noting at the time that it was the best thing they’d ever done in my opinion, and although nowadays I’d give that palm to “Winner Takes It All”, this is still up there. (Remember a song called “I’m A Train” by Albert Hammond, father of one of The Strokes? – it sounds like Benny and Bjorn did.) The video shows that Agnetha is no great shakes as a dancer, but as I’ve said before in Another Place, was there ever a woman more beautiful than she was in the late 70s? (Easy? – who did your schoolmates think they were?!!) (Erithian)

Yadda yadda yadda classic. I was surprised how 2008 their clothes look! Of the fifty songs there are only ten I would wish to hear again, and only Abba would be in contention for my Top One Hundred (but even then it's not my favourite Abba song!) (Gert)

Used to hate Abba, but there's a great craftmanship behind its arrangement. (Simon)

Total closet Abba head. Will watch Muriel's Wedding repeatedly for the soundtrack and to hear Toni Colette say ABBA in that twisted Australian way she has. (jo)

No searing critique from me (so what's new). My very first musical memory is Abba winning the Eurovision song contest, and the first album that was bought for me was Abba's Greatest Hits vol 1. I'll always have a huge soft spot for them. Have they ever won a God-like genius award? (Sarah)

I played Take a Chance on Me two nights ago as I DJed for a friend's 30th (this being the number one when he was born). And, as a peek at my last.fm profile implies, the Swedes can get five points from me without breaking a sweat. (Will)

Despite being the Abba song that always reminds me most of French and Saunders' spoof it really is rather good. (NiC)

Despite rediscovering Abba slightly before the rest of the world in the early 90s, they've fallen from favour of late. I think it's time for me to re-rediscover them. (Adrian)

3 pts. Seems unkind to rate it in midfield but, well crafted as the arrangement is, it's by no means one of their better songs. (Z)

Abba have pretty much always left me entirely cold, but as I've got older I've come to appreciate their clinical pop genius. It's alright, but it still doesn't get me up and dancing. And I loathe Dancing Queen too. Sorry. I must be missing the Abba gene. Even I can't deny that this is clearly the classiest thing here though. (SwissToni)

Having moved from Bowie/Mott/Alice Cooper onto punk and metal, I was immune to Abba at the time and legally obliged to hate them. I think this gives the more mature me a far more objective view on them that most people who are viewing them through rosy nostalgia tinted spectacles, and I can recognise them for what they really were, which is a very average pop band with a few good tunes who lucked into capturing the zeitgeist of the times. This song is not unpleasant, but really a bit bland and dull, and that's as much as I can say for it. (Alan)

2008: Mercy - Duffy (113)

I love her voice and I enjoyed the song. It's a whole lot more classy than most chart-toppers are nowadays. (Z)

I think in time this will turn out to be a classic. My sort of music. (Tina)

Sorry. I. Love. Duffy. The voice, the retro vibe, the Dusty feel. The 60's girl group sound. I. Can't. Help. It. Tom Jones, Sterophonics, Shirley Bassey, Cerys Mathews, Bonnie Tyler...maybe I just like Welsh voices. (jo)

Damned original stuff, and one of the few modern number 1s we're still going to remember in ten years time. (diamond geezer)

This one is simply the best Number 1 for a long while, and good luck to her. Incidentally, when the New Amys (or rather the Channelling Dustys) have big hits I get a bit indignant on behalf of Candie Payne, whose voice is up there with theirs and whose songs have the edge, but who hasn’t had quite the promotional push. (Mike, I saw Carmel live back in the 80s and she was terrific.) (Erithian)

I wasn't sure about Duffy, but this track made me think that perhaps there is something in the hype. And whenever I've seen her perform live she's been amazing. (Oliver R)

I definitely like this. Lulu vocals, yes, but then in the background it's referencing Ben E King and The Doors, and putting all that together somehow it works fantastically well. (Alan)

This is a great song and given most other competition would be flying high at the top of my list. I'd never seen the video before though. What's with the flame-grilled dancer? (Sarah)

No she's not the next Amy. Amy's a better lyricist, and sings from the core of the genre. This song is from the 60s song book of R&B catch phrases. It's like somebody loaded up her Ipod with Ann Sexton, Peebles and Sharon Jones and said," write me a song from that". I see your Carmel and raise you a Marianne Rosenberg. But don't think I don't like this. I think it's terrific, in it's way. (asta)

I think she's more straight retro and less original than Amy and the arrangement is indeed a bit tame (more Lulu?) but it's still pretty good. (NiC)

It's not quite the authentic, dusty fingered soul classic that it purports to be, and it's not even as good as Rockferry, but it's solid and catchy and danceably laid-back. I'm surprised how nasal she sounds on this though. She's hardly Mahalia Jackson, is she? (imsodave)

Heard this on a radio in a doctor's waiting room last week without knowing what it was and was surprised to find I didn't mind it as much as I thought I did (or maybe that was because of all the Century 106 schlock around it). Straight up revision without progression, of course, but tellingly not produced by the terrible joy-sucking Bernard Butler but by someone who appears to have done nothing of note past album tracks for Natalie Imbruglia and Heather Small before this but appears to understand that instantaneousness was the key to great soul. (Simon)

Good, high quality work. Inventive, but I don't think it carries it all the way to the finishing line. (Simon C)

Hmm. A large part of me wants to cry out that this is simply trying too hard; that the song is too retro and ultimately too repetitive.... but I simply can't deny the power of that voice and the fact that this song has got hooks. I'm sure she'll get better material than this in her career, but this will probably do for starters. The Social is going to be a great place to see her, that's for sure. (SwissToni)

Looking forward to seeing her. The B side of the 7" suggests that there is a genuine soul girl there (and she's 22 for crissake - at 22 you think you've seen everything, and certainly have a right to sing the blues) I could listen to this more often than Kylie or Abba but it's not that memorable. (Dymbel)

There are hints of Motown in this. If I didn't know they were in order, I'd suspect it was the 60s track. It's reasonable enough, but not a classic by any stretch of the imagination. (Adrian)

I was feeling rather pleased about the fact that I'd realised that she was the new Carmel, and was going to drop that into the comment in a very smug and self satisfied way, only to find out that other people have got there instead. Harumph. Perhaps they should do a duet, compare bleached hair and black shift dresses, that sort of thing. This single isn't quite as bad as I would have expected after her appearance on Later last year. At least she didn't go to the Brits School. (betty)

The introductory Stand By Me meets Human Behaviour bedrock motif promises little and yes it sounds moderately enhancing, if not enchanting, but it sounds spliced together by committee and Duffy really needs to do some more living before we can begin to believe (in) her. That is, if her management will allow her to live. (Actually, the Duffy riff is "Time Of The Season" innit? Paging Mr Argent...) (Marcello Carlin)

The Duffy album is such a mixed bag. I first heard a 5 track sampler, which sounded pretty decent - but it now seems as though all the best songs were on it. "Warwick Avenue" is an attractive piece of work, which might make a good follow-up single, but then we have tedious non-songs like the one where tells us, over and over and over again, that she doesn't want to be a stepping stone. And bearing in mind his asset-stripping reductio ad tedium job on the third Sons & Daughters album, having Bernard Butler as your closest collaborator is nothing to shout about, either. (mike)

The Lambrettas to Amy Winehouse's Jam. (Nottingham's 'Mr Sex')

This is getting more and more play on Heart. It'll soon be played more than Valerie. Duffy will replace Sam Brown when she's kicked out of Jools Holland's big band in a few years. (Geoff)

Her voice really grates after half a dozen seconds. I ought to like this a helluva lot more, considering the classy support of inter alia McAlmont and Butler. I'd just rather it was David McAlmont on vocals. (Gert)

1968: The Mighty Quinn - Manfred Mann (100)

Possibly the second ever Number 1 I can remember from the time (the first being “Bonnie and Clyde”) and an instant time-travel back to growing up in Stretford, just down the road from an older lad called Stephen Morrissey. As Manfred Mann’s Earth Band, they were the first band I went to see live several years later. Of course drug references – “everybody’s gonna want a dose” and Anthony Quinn went right over my head, it was just a fun song and still is. (Erithian)

I've never understood what the lyrics are about for this, but I've always had a soft spot for this song. I'll give it the nod over Abba because I'd be less likely to skip it if iTunes chose it on party shuffle. (Adrian)

Slightly odd and silly but no sillier than singing about Yellow Submarines or Bullfrogs with names. (asta)

The slight oddity of it adds to its attraction. (Z)

The Mannfreds were always a blues rock outfit that had been shoehorned into a pop role. Their live performances were purportedly bizarre because they played in a much harder, rockier style that half the audience, who had only heard the singles, hated. They wanted to be like the Stones, but they were hamstrung by their record company who wanted a more commercial sound, and it's the reason Paul Jones couldn't take it any more and quit. This one, from the Mike D'Abo era, was one time that the rockier sound started edging its way into the singles, if only a little, and was deservedly their biggest hit. It's a stepping stone between singles chart fodder and the more innovative music that was being created elsewhere at the time, and any band who could take an obscure Dylan song and make the public think it was pop magic are always going to get the thumbs up from me. (Alan)

I will always say yes to MM, they are one of my faves. When husband first moved over and I was touring him around the states we spent a lot of time with Roaring Silence in the CD player. (jo)

It reminds me a little of a rotund footballer with a big moustache, but it's a great song isn't it? The production has dated a bit, but the song stands up okay I reckon. One point seems very harsh when this would have topped most of the other day's selections for me. Them's the breaks though, eh? (SwissToni)

Remarkable how these jazzbo rep reliables managed three number ones in the sixties when the Small Faces managed only one and the Who none at all, and even more remarkably this was the first Dylan-related (as composer) UK chart topper; all very affable and the "Eskimo" angle ensured some Junior Choice play even if the producers chose to turn their back on the subtext (if there be any, depending on whose memories you trust).

Oh, and if anyone wants to know where Spiritualized copped it all from, check out the two extremely scarce albums released by "Manfred Mann Chapter Three" after the pop Manfreds split in two; maybe if Jason Pierce had been doing the vocals instead of the rather wobbly Mike Hugg, these records would get proper props. (Marcello Carlin)

Very minor Dylan. I'm humungously fond of the Basement Tapes,which I have in every incaranation and play from time to time but not especially this version, though, yeah, full marks for making such a throwaway a pop hit. (Dymbel)

I didn't know any of the meta stuff. This exercise is quite interesting because if this song came on in the pub, I would be like, yeah, I know this, great song. But actually, it isn't, really. (Gert)

Just sounds a bit generic 60s novelty song to me. Can't summon up an opinion on this one. (Sarah)

People like songs they can hum and whistle, I suppose. Quite why they would then want to buy it in such numbers I have no idea. (imsodave)

Erm, it's the Generation Game theme tune, isn't it? Life, is the name of the game, and I want to play the game with you. The Eskimo version, obviously. (diamond geezer)

I'm sure they were mouthing "Mighty Quim" on TOTP the other week. (Geoff)

1988: I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue (90)

I hate to disagree with you, but this is bloody brilliant. It may be cheesy, it may be over-bubbly, but it's still perfect pop. And I'm not ashamed to replay it, over and over... (diamond geezer)

Ahhh...London '88, sparkling and new, Kylie in the original video (not the more famous and infinitely naffer second one) streaking through Melbourne in her open-topped car (the same one in which Morley takes his journey?) as if the world's opening up just for her, the Australian sun recreated in a gloomy studio in Warrington, the light, the hope, the promise, and no it wasn't Rick Astley sped up. Elegantly loving even if a little too aware of the pressures of mortality. (Marcello Carlin)

Love it. Classic. What's to be ashamed of? And how many costume changes? (NiC)

I Should Be So Lucky was a big hit when I was at primary school (for which I apologise), and I remember it being quite popular in the playground. The boys who liked it all ended up gay, of course - she had that effect even then... (Will)

When this was out I was just that bit too old for this to be anything other than terribly uncool. Now it's got a kind of quaint charm. (Adrian)

I dismissed this at the time, but I think it's held up pretty well. (Z)

Really hated this at the time. Repetitive, squeaky nonsense - but with the maturing of Kylie (and myself) I guess I've forgiven her a lot over the years. It's nowhere near as bad as my sneery teenage self believed 20 years ago. I was probably just hacked off that she had left Neighbours. (Sarah)

If your birthday had been a week later we’d have had the odd outcome (has it happened in Which Decade before?) of the same artist featuring in different decades, 20 years apart – as “Wow” entered the top ten last week. 20 years of hits, who’d’a thunk it? That first single wasn’t for me back in the day – wasn’t pitched at the likes of me in any case – but now both her and Jason’s opening singles exude all the healthy escapism of the soap that spawned them, along with SAW’s sense of just how to create a massive hit. (Mind you, listening to Kylie and Jason’s duet can actually rot your teeth.) (Erithian)

Now, it's a bit of a dog this song, but... I get the feeling they knew, and didn't care. There's a happiness and carelessness that is really endearing. (Simon C)

This is chirpy Kylie. I much prefer the more mature pouty, vampy Kylie. (asta)

I'm not a fan. Only like a handful of her songs. This has a certain yearning quality. No doubt it's a result of Pete Waterman deciding that the teenage demographic has to empathise with the words if they're going to buy the single. (betty)

It feels somewhat harsh to only give this a mere two points. I remember this affectionately for some reason, but I think that's bound up in how I feel about "Our" "Brave" Kylie than about the quality of the music. We've grown up with her, haven't we? Pretty generic SA&W nonsense really, isn't it? I'm not sure I can forgive the whole "Hair Hat" thing on the album cover, to be honest. (SwissToni)

I'm supposed to like NeighboursKylie, I know, but this hasn't got any better in the twenty years since we all stood smugly folding our arms and glowering. (Simon)

I don't like anything she's ever done, especially this. (Geoff)

It is really irritating isn't it. I can't say I cared for very much of the Stock Aiken Waterman stuff. This was amongst the best. NiC mentions French and Saunders spoof of Abba, but they also spoofed this. (Gert)

I don't get Kylie. At. All. Cute? Sure. Hot? Maybe. But all in all, useless. (jo)

No amount of redressing can disguise the fact that this is a turkey of the highest order. (imsodave)

Another artist I have never had any feel for in any of her various incarnations. She always seems to me like she spends her career playing catch up and being a cut-price version of whoever was popular six months ago. But worse still, I saw Pete Waterman interviewed on a show recently and he described himself and cohorts Stock and Aitken as "we were the real punks" which had the effect of making me loathe their collective output even more than I already did, which was quite a considerable amount to begin with. Engineered tripe of the worst kind, it's become a laughing stock of a song since and rightly so. (Alan)

1998: Doctor Jones - Aqua (67)

I do like aqua, it's what 'pop' is supposed to be, completely silly and with a "it's got a beat and you can dance to it" vibe. (Clair)

Surprisingly fresh ten years on considering how played to death it was at the time. (NiC)

I read an unbelievably po-faced review of "Barbie Girl" not so long ago, I think on the captions of one of those music channels that tried to take the piss out of the silly scandinavians.... apparently completely missing the point that they were taking the piss out of themselves far more effectively, and as they were at number one, the joke was on us. I actually like this. Harmless pop fun, and nothing wrong with that, eh? eh? (SwissToni)

Huge in Denmark. When Love with Arthur Lee were touring the UK, they had Danish roadies and a sound man who had worked on Aqua tours and were very positive about their professionalism and musicianship (I kid you not). (Tina)

AquaFact 1: I once saw the hunky guy, Rene I think, come out of a dry cleaner's in Copenhagen and jump into a black Ferrari with a big load of clean clothes. I never see celebrities, so found this pretty cool. AquaFact 2: A year or two later, some friends and I thought it would be a really great idea to go and see Aqua live (this was the era of irony, and we were its children). As I ordered (standing) tickets, everyone thought it very hilarious when I had to confirm to the ticket agent on the phone "yes, we are all over five feet tall". (Simon C)

3 pts. Now I have to confess something here, this isn't purely a musical decision. But I don't think it is possible to be. Aqua were a band who understood that in the modern era, the visual was equally important. Take away the video and there's nothing much here. With the video, however, it's brilliant kitschy fun and makes you grin from ear to ear. (Alan)

You could win a pub bet on this – the biggest selling single in the UK by a Scandinavian act was “Barbie Girl” and not anything by Abba. In the sales boom of late ’97 there were two huge hits with possibly the youngest target audience of any Number 1 ever – this and the Teletubbies – and although the follow-up was more listenable, it’s still out of its depth in ths company. (Erithian)

I prefer this one to Barbie Girl, which isn't saying much. The Bloke Out Of Aqua was the '90's Bloke Out Of The Sugarcubes. (betty)

Fun like bubble gum. Is bubble gum really fun though, or just annoying? (Geoff)

This is the 90s novelty group with surprise, surprise- novelty songs. Dr. (Indianna) Jones, isn't even as good as Barbie Girl, which at least could be thought of as biting social comment.

Not a patch on "Barbie Girl"; a rather hackneyed variant on the old Goodness Gracious Me/Dr Kiss Kiss/Doctor Love sex-as-medicine template, naff rather than "ironically great." (Marcello Carlin)

No fond memories of anything by Aqua. Were this later in the year, I'd assume it was the hangover from our yearly exodus to dodgy Mediterranean resorts...ugh! (Sarah)

The power of the tweenie market in full effect. Well and truly on the crest of the Barbie Girl wave here. Presumably they suffered a painful crushing death on the descent. Shame. (imsodave)

Music for shop mannequins to smile to. (diamond geezer)

Decade scores so far (after 9 days).
1 (2) The 1960s (32)
2 (1) The 1970s (30)
3 (3) The 2000s (27)
4 (4) The 1990s (25)
5 (5) The 1980s (21)

"It was often a letdown, because the records I really liked tended to get to Number Eleven, not Number One. I would much rather have seen Mott The Hoople do All The Young Dudes than Don McLean singing bloody Vincent again."

1968: Cinderella Rockefella - Esther & Abi Ofarim. (video)
1978: Figaro - Brotherhood Of Man. (video)
1988: I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany. (video)
1998: All I Have To Give - Backstreet Boys. (video)
2008: Rockstar - Nickelback. (video)
Listen to a short medley of all five songs.

Running totals so far - Number 2s.

1988: I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany (147)

Ah yes. Pop genius, and following on from Debbie Gibson the other day, another of this year's wholesome 80s starlets who got'em out for Playboy. God love her. There's a great song in here underneath that production. It still sounds alright today, I reckon. (SwissToni)

Yay! I think this may actually be the best version of this song. (And before anyone says anything, this movie is not about me, OK?) (jeff w)

5 points, since out of this singularly sorry lot this is the only record which truly deserves any points. I liked the shopping mall marketing plan, though (and what was our equivalent in the UK of the late eighties? The late, lamented Don Estelle flogging his tapes and singing along to them in Arndale Centres up and down the land!), and she grasps the "children BEHAVE" motif in a way that Tommy James or the Rubinoos (being boys) wouldn't have been able to do. Harmless fun and an obvious number one, although the Tommy James original with its hesitant pauses of chirping crickets - what happened to the concept of spaces and silence in pop? - is overall architecturally and aesthetically better as a pop record. (Marcello Carlin)

The first version of 'I Think We're Alone Now' that I heard was by The Rubinoos and I still love their take on it, though I later acquired the fine original. (I always first think of Tommy James as 'Crimson and Clover' though, a key early record for me). I once named a short story after this song and, by implication, the mediocre Tiffany version is playing in the story's final paragraph, so I guess I owe her. (Dymbel)

Proof that good music transcends genre. You see, it has all the Eighties trademarks (except scratching) that have pissed me off throughout this exercise, but actually it is a good song. Not great, but almost certainly in my top five for this year's WD (which is damning with faint praise). I like her voice, especially the richness at the bottom of her range. Towards the top she's a bit of a poor person's Cyndi Lauper. (Gert)

Not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, but at least it's reasonably well produced and inoffensive. (Adrian)

Like you said, it’s very difficult to screw up with a song like this. (Erithian)

Really never imagined that I'd ever give this 5 points. No-one who knows me in real life comes here do they? A bit of remixing and this could be quite something actually. (NiC)

5 Points - solely on the grounds that it wasn't anything like as bad as I remember it. It's still pretty f**king bad though! (Alan)

5 points to Tiffany, and I never thought I would say that, as I've alwas thought it unbelievably naff, but compared to the rest of this lot, it's fantastic. (David)

Almost irresistibly catchy. Talking of comedy clubs, as Alan does below, I was in one of Nottingham's scuzziest last Friday night and they played this track - the hen party from Barnsley and the big group of blokes from Hucknall did jiggy to it all over the place - complete with imitation lurex microphone which all and sundry sang into. (Tina)

The song may have its moments, but I don't like her delivery at all. (Z)

1 point, because I've discovered she posed topless and I'm totally against that sort of thing. Oh, and it was a stinking pile of 80s turdiness. (Geoff)

1968: Cinderella Rockefella - Esther & Abi Ofarim (107)

5 points, because it reminds me of being tucked up in bed during one of my never ending childhood illnesses, feeling safe, secure, and best of all, listening to the radio because I'd had time off school. Plus, I'm still likely to start singing it when I'm drunk, so it *must* have a special place in my heart. Stands head and shoulders above the other four songs, gawd help 'em. (betty)

I've only got good memories of this. Genuinely strange and wonderful. Tiny Tim crossed with Lee Hazlewood. (Geoff)

Everyone I know, including my mum, still assumes this to have been a Eurovision entry, but no, that year's winner, even beating Mr Forever Guy Cliff into second place, was Spain's Massiel with the memorable "La La La" (although whoever wrote Andy Williams' "Happy Heart" obviously remembered it).

Still, it can't be under-emphasised that in a year when CBS were more prepared to put marketing resources behind Solomon King than the Zombies (can you believe that "Time Of The Season" was never a hit single in its native country?), that when the US number ones of '68 included not only the aforementioned Archie Bell & the Drells ("from Houston TEXAS!") and Hugh Masekela but the Rascals ("People Got To Be Free"), "Love Child" (top 20 only in Britain) and "Dock Of The Bay" (#3 in the UK), serious questions have to be raised in the house about the misleading (?) picture of music that the success of trifles like "Cinderella Rockafella" would seem to have indicated.

It is perhaps excusable in the light of the song's author, Mason Williams, also having a much better hit in the same year with "Classical Gas" (which sounds like a lost Forever Changes backing track), and the excellent work that Esther Ofarim has done elsewhere (see for instance "Any Day Now," her "guest" appearance on side one of Scott Walker's 'Til The Band Comes In), but really these 4 points are in Monopoly money. (Marcello Carlin)

They've chosen a direction and gone all out for it. In company like this such conviction, even if mis-placed, can lift you above the rest. (Adrian)

This amused me when I was fourteen, which allows me to give it a modicum of tolerance. (Z)

A fondly-remembered novelty rather than anything of great value (although their “One More Dance” had a haunting quality).(Erithian)

I don't like novelty records. I wonder who was buying the records back in the Sixties, because I don't see the chart being particularly Teens or even Twenties oriented. Unless young people were prematurely middle-aged. (Gert)

I really was hoping for a " Young Girl" or Baby Come Back" or even "Lady Madonna" but no, this is what we get. Another f*^#*ing novelty act. I really think it's got to be February. When we finish all the Februarys will you consider a comparison with July/August? Pretty please? (asta)

I always thought it was Mike Moran & Lynsey du Paul. (David)

Blimey. There's not enough yodelling in the charts nowadays, is there? **seconds pass** Ah, okay, now I'm bored of this. The joke isn't funny anymore. En Suivant! (SwissToni)

2008: Rockstar - Nickelback (103)

Hmm, you were praising with faint damns there, weren’t you Mike? I like this – not sure I’d ascribe profundity or wryness to it (and I hated “We Didn’t Start The Fire” as much as the next man) but it’s refreshing to hear a rock band intentionally sending up both itself and the "raaawwk" lifestyle. In the tradition of “Life’s Been Good” by Joe Walsh or Dr Hook’s early material (if you only know them for gloopy ballads try “Cover of the Rolling Stone”). And it’s still fun after it becomes familiar. Nice vid as well. (Erithian)

Just what is happening with the creepy voiceover stuff? Nickelback were never that good, but I was hoping they'd provide some guilty-pleasure-style respite. (Adrian)

Take your point, Erithian. It's not for me in any shape or form, but I can see that it's a reasonably accurate lampoon on an awful lot of people's fantasies of the rock star lifestyle - but they could have taken it so much further, so I can't help feeling that it's a waste of a decent premise. (Those creepy voice-overs that Adrian mentioned were provided by a member of ZZ Top, by the way.) (mike)

For the first few bars I thought 'not bad' but then I just fell asleep, it is so boring. An unusual reaction, if I don't like something, I still tend to react. (Gert)

I'm giving this 4 points? Oh sweet lord above. Now, the thing about this is that I'm absolutely convinced that although this is being seen as ironic, it was written with a perfectly straight face. Chad Kroeger has cut his hair. He has many cars. He is a rockstar (and is there any sadder an indictment of music than that?). I don't know about the hookers and the dealers and stuff, and I know he's canadian and all (sorry asta), but I'm prepared to take a wild guess that he didn't have to look very far for his inspiration. (SwissToni)

Should be number one for 26 weeks in a Bryan Adams way. Would have been in the 80s. And the 80s were great, weren't they? (Geoff)

I was in a comedy club a few weeks back, Tom Stade was headlining and because I was sat in the front (and because I look like, well, me) he naturally made me his buttmonkey for the night. And one of the first things he said was "I don't know anything about you, except that you smoke a lot of dope and like Nickelback." I really wanted to put him right on that second one. This is a band who started out by distilling everything that was great about bands like the Pixies, Nirvana, Soundgarden and the Smashing Pumkins, and then discarding that and using what was left over. Like I said with Rod Stewart, I'm a die-hard rocker from way back, and that's exactly why I don't like this. It isn't rock music, it's what someone who has had rock music described to them but has never actually heard it would create. (Alan)

With all the fabulously talented Canadian singer/songwriters out there, Nickelback is sitting in the number 2 spot? Outrageous. They've been recording the same paint-by-numbers song for seven years. Only the lyrics change. Oh lucky us, this one is a self-indulgent whine about MTV kids and rock star life. (asta)

Peter Robinson's recent piece in the Guardian Guide was the definitive study of Nickelback's true awfulness. Hey, even though he's a rock star who lives the rock star lifestyle, he's slagging off other people who want to be rock stars and live the rock star lifestyle! Way to go, dude! Gets three points because the singer is quite funny ... for a few seconds. (betty)

At least BoM have the decency to be bland and know it (I imagine). This is bland posing as rock. Begone. (Stereoboard)

Thank goodness for Duffy, eh? Otherwise this might have got to #1. I knew there must be some reason for her existence... (jeff w)

1 point, because they're Canadian and therefore should know much, much better. Because really I don't care whether it's supposed to be ironic or not. It's a lump of overspent Mothers' Pride bread blocking up the orchard of popular music development. I can't abide Duffy but I do applaud her for keeping this muck off the top. Now come down, dear, and give H(two)) a chance. (Marcello Carlin)

1978: Figaro - Brotherhood Of Man (65)

It could be down to the fact that I've got a bad headache, but I'm now imagining what Brotherhood Of Man's version of I Think We're Alone Now would sound like. Oh, and I can remember The Barron Knight's spoof version, which then leads me to remember The Barron Knights' Boney M send up There's A Dentist From Birmingham. It's terrible and I'm probably having some sort of meltdown. (betty)

Pure nostalgia. This was the very first pop record I bought, for 69p. Objectively, I have to say it is pretty bad, low-rent Abba, over-produced vocals blah de blah, but the tune is so etched on my mind, it has the comfort of the familiar. And now I'm freaked out that Betty's mentioned "Dentist in Birmingham", because I brought this into conversation today at work, sight unseen, as a follow-on from a discussion of the Wurzels (you had to be there) but I couldn't remember the name of the band so I googled it. (Gert)

I never liked Abba, so a second rate middle-class English imitation with mumsy looking women is quite painful. For some reason, watching the video made me think of Abigails Party. (Alan)

If you're going to rip off ABBA could you at least put some effort into it? God, a highschool production of Mamma Mia could outdo this. (asta)

oh crikey! Amateur hour. Bjorn Again are probably deeply offended by this. I don't even like Abba and I know I am. (SwissToni)

Motherhood of Bran, as we used to refer to them at school (why couldn't it have been the Brotherhood of Breath, my all time favourite band in any genre of music?), and this was a truly terrible number one in a chart which also contained "What Do I Get?" and "Shot By Both Sides" (now THERE would have been a top-of-the-chart battle worth following). The subtext here: watch out for all those greasy foreigners who'll steal your wife/your job/your house/swamped by alien culture &c. They were rightfully swept away one week later by the Harold Wilson to their Mike Yarwood (or, if you know your seventies Brit impressionists, the David Frost to their Peter Goodwright) - Abba. And if you think this was bad, what about the follow-up to "Save Your Kisses" - "My Sweet Rosalie" which seems to promote canophilia. (Marcello Carlin)

Yes, the horror that was "My Sweet Rosalie" - an earlier (and more metaphorically apposite!) example of BOM deploying the dog-returning-to-its-own-vomit, "if you thought the other one sucked, try sucking on THIS you suckers" trick. I am still scarred by the memory of their "Seventies medley" at the Royal Centre last year, in particular the segue from "Remember You're A Womble" (complete with GLOVE PUPPET) to "My Ding-A-Ling"... (mike)

3 points: Brotherhood Of Man. Because I like the sentiments behind the group's name. (Geoff)

1998: All I Have To Give - Backstreet Boys (58)

I dislike "production-line boy-band ballads" as much as the next man, but the Brit and Irish variants are 10 times worse than this. the BBoys are dodgy singers but the arrangement is lovely and the song's OK; the melody in the chorus is pretty strong, actually. (jeff w)

I think you're being unfair here Mike, they're much better than Westlife. Mind you, so is having major bowel surgery without an anaesthetic. This is dull, bland and pointless, but it's not awful, hence the four points, because frankly everything else is. (Alan)

Aside from the half-strangled mimicking of Prince singing a ballad, they're not that bad. Let me be more precise- they're better than a lot of other boy bands. O Town anyone? (asta)

I can't believe that I'm placing this shit so high. Hmmm. There was a time when I was in Florida with a friend that every time I touched the radio dial, the Backstreet Boys came on with "I Want It That Way". Now, I didn't much like that song, but compared to this one, it's Ivor Novello winning stuff. Lazy, unimaginative tripe of the kind now cranked out by Westlife. You can see them standing up as the song cranks up for a big finish. Awful. (SwissToni)

Oh god, painting my numbers. You'd have thought, when he wobbles, they'd have gone for another take. (Gert)

Completely unmemorable. Louis Walsh must indeed have been taking notes. A real letdown if compared to the awesome Everybody (Backstreet's Back), the band's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. (betty)

I wasn’t paying a great deal of attention to the charts at this period, but just the thought that this was an influence on the likes of W------e is enough to earn them a place in the bowels of hell. (Erithian)

Decade scores so far (after 8 days).
1 (2) The 1970s (29)
2 (1) The 1960s (29)
3 (3) The 2000s (24)
4 (4) The 1990s (23)
5 (5) The 1980s (16)

1968: She Wears My Ring - Solomon King. (video)
1978: If I Had Words - Scott Fitzgerald & Yvonne Keeley with the St. Thomas More School Choir. (video)
1988: Tell It To My Heart - Taylor Dayne. (video)
1998: Never Ever - All Saints. (video)
2008: Now You're Gone - Basshunter. (video)
Listen to a short medley of all five songs.

Running totals so far - Number 3s.

1998: Never Ever - All Saints (149)

One of the greatest of number ones and the competition which the Spice Girls direly needed at the turn of '97/8; so patient a record, so effortlessly hip an approach (their Woody Allen-style hands-in-pockets/shrugging-shoulders routine), and the red alert sign for New Pop Mk II (Cameron McVey changes music for the third time in less than a decade) - a wonderful Shangri-Las in W11 intro (as Brit-born, Canadian-raised expats I think we can accommodate the Appletons' AC/DC accents - the magic lies in the accentual instability), a sublime shuffle of a pop song which turns into a near-gospel hymn at the end (that organ) without descending into Jools Holland worthiness and then SNAP! the beats break up and they become even hipper as the song fades. (Marcello Carlin)

5 points. Totally has to be, and not just because I’ve been mates with Melanie Blatt’s dad for 20 years or so. (Check out his book “Manchester United Ruined My Wife”, the Old Trafford answer to “Fever Pitch”.) Yes, it’s a little patchy with that spoken intro, but a deserved massive hit. Marcello will confirm it holds the record for the most copies sold before the week it reached number 1. (Erithian)

Confirmed - 770,000 copies sold before it topped the chart, and it ended up selling just short of one-and-a-half million. (Marcello Carlin)

This is how you do 'slow' without 'plod'. Quite what the formula for success here is I couldn't say, but the ladies stumbled on it here. (jeff w)

Well yes, there's really no choice but All Saints is there? Head and shoulders and pretty much all other parts above the rest of these selections. Never really liked them much, but this one was palatable and easily the best of their singles. Pity they chose to follow it up with their execrable wimpy cover of Under the Bridge. (Alan)

One of the best pop groups of the 90s who hardly put a foot wrong. They even made a silk purse out of a plodding Red Hot Chilli Peppers sow's ear. (Geoff)

Not as good as "Black Coffee" but an awful lot better than their cover of "Under the Bridge" and any of the rest of this motley selection. It's classy sounding, for heaven's sake, even if I seriously dislike the alternating pronunciation of Ay to Zee and Ay to Zed. (SwissToni)

The almost pseudo-Shangri-Las spoken intro is a bit dubious but once that's over it's pure pop genius (though very much a slow grower on me at the time I recall). (NiC)

Not even my favourite song by them, but gets the most points by default. Always had a soft spot for that wobbly thing Shaznay does with her vocals ... (betty)

Never ever have I ever liked this song. Clearly written by someone with a limited vocabulary. It's the sound of a toddler having a lazy tantrum. (imsodave)

When Shaznay sings: I'll take a shower, I will scour... am I the only one who pictures her cleaning under her arms with a green scouring pad and some fairy liquid? (Oliver R)

1988: Tell It To My Heart - Taylor Dayne (118)

Haven't heard this in years. It's held up better than I remember, and although it's not fantastic, it's easily top here. (Adrian)

Blistering vocal performance from TD and again a breakbeat which seems to skate right through the walls of Streathamm Ice Rink; furiously busy, completely 1988, as tinny as any Carnaby Street Acieed smiley T-shirts but it still feels exciting. I wonder if McCartney might want to have a word apropos "No Reply," though. (Marcello Carlin)

While I sit at home and say "ah yes, very fine specimen of 80s pop, that", sipping my wine, I know that if I somehow found myself at an 80s disco night and it came on, I'd be on my feet in seconds. (Simon C)

I certainly enjoy this more now than at the time. But enough about me. This is a cracker. Crackles and fizzes with sexual energy. Hang on, that's me again. The song is good. The best of a poor bunch today. I like it. Cheers. (imsodave)

I've always felt that this would be better without the tinny computer drumtrack; I'd like to hear it done as Rock Anthem, and I think her voice makes her a Rock Belter. It's not bad, but don't need it in my collection. (Gert)

My mother would have called her rough. We all thought she was scary. Song's nothing all that special- but better than the dregs to follow. (asta)

This drips testosterone, oddly. (SwissToni)

Is this where Stock Aitken & Waterman got that irritating keyboard sound from? Curse you, Taylor. (jeff w)

I assume she was a former backing singer for Foreigner or Toto. That's where she should've stayed. (betty)

2008: Now You're Gone - Basshunter (86)

As this genre goes, I find I can live with this track – effective use of the big beats, and it’s even got a tune you can whistle. Loses a point for deploying the old “chewed-up cassette tape” effect. (Erithian)

Went home to celebrate midsummer the right number of years ago for this to be The Song in Sweden at the time. Was horrified. Now I would say, well, fair enough. Untz untz fodder for the masses. (Simon C)

Formulaic... even when the beat kicks in it hasn't got any energy. (Adrian)

A sort of Bachman-Turner Overdrive to the Guess Who of the superb Swedish original. (Marcello Carlin)

Will have to have a listen to the Swedish version then. Doesn't really go anywhere, does it? Reminds me of Snap!'s Rhythm Is A Dancer, but nowhere near as good. (betty)

Not sure I agree with you about Nena, but this is clearly the most disastrous attempt to anglicise a eurohit since Las Ketchup. This did so well in the end, I'm sure 'Boten Anna' could have been a hit in its own right here. (jeff w)

Are you sure this is from the Noughties because it even has Eighties Big Hair and Sinclair Spectrum drum track. At least it doesn't scratch. (Gert)

This must have taken all of 1 minute to write. I bet Chris Moyles probably took longer writing his parody. Is that chorus bit meant to be euphoric? It fails and only serves to depress. (SwissToni)

Look at any edition of the Now series from the last fifteen years. They're packed full of garbage like this. I think it was existential philosopher-lover-poet Haddaway who said it best when he sang "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me". Alright? Quite. This nonsense is essentially just a ringtone. Basshunter indeed! We know where the f*cking bass is. It's all over this mess of a tune. (imsodave)

1978: If I Had Words - Scott Fitzgerald & Yvonne Keeley (80)

I do like this song. I liked it way back when I was 10. And I continue to like it, I think there is a very bright mood about it. I don't think the 'reggae' bit ever really came through a valved radio tuned to Medium Wave (although obviously, the Top 20 on Sunday did also go out on Radio 2 VHF). Someone on YouTube has made some comment about it not being shown on TOTP, and I have to admit I have always assumed the male singer was black. White men shouldn't sing falsetto. (Gert)

I have always liked it despite itself - better known these days for its use in the film Babe, I guess, but I like the fugal/spiritual construct, the French/reggae fusion which hasn't been properly followed through, and the bells at the end - undeniably corny, but as a 14-year-old boy with a doomed classmate crush it spoke directly to me. The missus heard it for the first time when Dale played it on Pick Of The Pops the other Sunday and she loved it! (Marcello Carlin)

Nice bit of cod reggae with a James Last feel. (Geoff)

A pleasant surprise after your build up. I do like cod-reggae in general though. (jeff w)