troubled diva  
 

All over Web 2.0 like a rash: flickr · last.fm · twitter · badj.it · myspace · muxtape
Fingers in other pies: post of the week · shaggy blog stories · village community blog

Friday, November 30, 2001

Interregnum.

Work, work, work. Stupid deadlines. Last minute "minor" requests that turn out to be massive structural changes. Bah. No time to blog. Boo.

I feel myself turning into my alias by the minute.

Still, there's next week's gigfest to look forward to. A band for each decade, in fact. Ash on Tuesday, Human League on Wednesday, and (blush) Yes on Saturday, with a full orchestra (sorry Groc).

And a nice quiet weekend of rural bliss beckons. Yay!

More next week.

· link to this ·

Thursday, November 29, 2001

John Hoyland.

In the cottage, we've got this John Hoyland lithograph hanging.

It came as part of a set of 15 limited edition prints by various artists (including Patrick Caulfield, Terry Frost, Norman Ackroyd & Peter Blake amongst others) commissioned by the Royal Academy for the year 2000, most of which are now framed and hanging either in Nottingham or the cottage. But this one, try as I might, is not one of my favourites.

So it was interesting to read this article (go straight to paragraph 4) from the tangents site, in which the writer explains the problems he has with Hoyland's later work. I find myself in agreement with his criticisms; in fact, it helps me to see them written down by someone else.

Here's another Hoyland picture from 1979 which is much more like it.

· link to this ·

Another interregnum.

Ulp - work's gone mental. Impossible deadlines to meet and all that. We've decided to "adopt a professional attitude", i.e. slog away today and tomorrow for as long as it takes. Hey-ho.

So don't expect much blogging for the next couple of days.

But just enough time to say this: Jeff and Janice in lil' ol' Main Street USA, cheers for that! (I actually live in Nottingham, though).

· link to this ·

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

160 classic dance records: Summer 1982 - Summer 1984.

Jeez, I just realised I've been blogging a month and I haven't done a really good List yet. And I © Lists...

So, here's a list of 160 great dance records from one of my absolute favourite periods in dance music: Summer 1982 - Summer 1984. Note that these are the records I actually liked at the time - the list has not been put through some sort of retrospective "cool" filter, as so often happens with these things. The list is in no particular order - just the order in which they popped into my head.
1. loopzilla – george clinton
2. nipple to the bottle – grace jones
3. play at your own risk – planet patrol
4. planet rock – afrika bambaata & the soul sonic force
5. looking for the perfect beat – afrika bambaata & the soul sonic force
6. the message – grandmaster flash & the furious five
7. walking on sunshine – rockers revenge
8. soul makossa – nairobi
9. go deh yaka – monyaka
10. weekend – class action featuring chris wiltshire
11. body work – hot streak
12. heavy vibes – montana sextet
13. you can’t hide your love – david joseph
14. you’re the one for me – d-train
15. don’t make me wait – peech boys
16. pack jam – jonzun crew
17. space is the place – jonzun crew
18. space cowboy – jonzun crew
19. the razor’s edge – defunkt
20. work that sucker to death – xavier
21. double dutch bus – frankie smith
22. in the name of love – sharon redd
23. beat the street – sharon redd
24. we are the jonzun crew – jonzun crew
25. one more shot – c-bank
26. the smurf – tyrone brunson
27. jazzy rhythm – michelle wallace
28. this beat is mine – vicky "d"
29. buffalo gals – malcolm mclaren
30. situation (francois kevorkian mix) – yazoo
31. hip hop be bop (don’t stop) – man parrish
32. let the music play – shannon
33. give me tonight – shannon
34. atomic dog – george clinton
35. al-naafiysh (the soul) – hashim
36. the best part of breaking up – roni griffith
37. on the upside – xena
38. passion – the flirts
39. i’m so hot for you – bobby “o”
40. babe we’re gonna love tonight – lime
41. iou – freeez
42. love pains – yvonne elliman
43. do you wanna funk – sylvester & patrick cowley
44. megatron man – patrick cowley
45. menergy – patrick cowley
46. party – julius brown
47. i don’t wanna talk about it – pamela stanley
48. you – boytronic
49. rocket to your heart – lisa
50. so many men, so little time – miquel brown
51. rockin’ radio – tom browne
52. living on video – trans-x
53. zarah (ich weiss, es wird ein wunder gescheh'n) – nina hagen
54. hip hop bommi bop – the incredible t.h. scratchers starring freddie love
55. lesson one (the payoff mix) – double dee & steinski
56. beat box – art of noise
57. the dominatrix sleeps tonight – dominatrix
58. self control – laura branigan
59. all night long (all night) – lionel richie
60. who’s your boyfriend? – eric
61. flashdance (what a feeling) – irene cara
62. why me? – irene cara
63. danger – the flirts
64. not the loving kind – twins
65. candy girl – new edition
66. rockit – herbie hancock
67. crazy cuts – grandmixer dst
68. two, three, break – beat boys
69. b-boys beware – two sisters
70. rock the boat (high dynamic remix) – forrest
71. all night long – mary jane girls
72. sugar free – juicy
73. last night a dj saved my life – indeep
74. native love – divine
75. shoot your shot – divine
76. in the bottle – c.o.d.
77. (hey you) rocksteady crew – rocksteady crew
78. just be good to me – s.o.s. band
79. guilty – lime
80. angel eyes – lime
81. lies – thompson twins
82. feel me – blancmange
83. let’s go to bed – the cure
84. blue monday – new order
85. primitive desire – eastbound expressway
86. earthquake – the flirtations
87. searchin’ – hazell dean
88. holiday – madonna
89. i am what i am – gloria gaynor
90. it’s raining men – weather girls
91. the safety dance – men without hats
92. big in japan – alphaville
93. where is my man – eartha kitt
94. burn it up mr dj – risque
95. don’t stop – sylvester
96. the sound of music – dayton
97. i’m out of your life – arnie’s love
98. love reaction – divine
99. who needs enemies (with friends like you) – montana sextet
100. one for the treble – davy dmx
101. jam on revenge (the wikki wikki song) – newcleus
102. jam on it – newcleus
103. borderline – madonna
104. i want it to be real – john rocca
105. confusion – new order
106. e.t. boogie – extra t’s
107. dirty talk- klein & mbo
108. white lines (don’t do it) – grandmaster & melle mel
109. she has a way – bobby “o”
110. the beat goes on – orbit
111. it’s a shame (mt. airy groove) – grandmaster flash
112. scorpio – grandmaster flash
113. heatstroke – man parrish
114. giving up – bobby “o”
115. relax – frankie goes to hollywood
116. love lies fierce – thompson twins
117. emergency – laura pallas
118. street dance – break machine
119. minefield – i-level
120. high energy – evelyn thomas
121. heartbeat (new york remix) – psychedelic furs
122. blind vision – blancmange
123. somebody else’s guy – jocelyn brown
124. thinking of you – sister sledge
125. the boys come to town – earlene bentley
126. drums of fire – gazuzu
127. keep on – d-train
128. light years away – warp 9
129. it’s nasty (genius of love) – grandmaster flash
130. rock box – run dmc
131. wanna be startin' something - michael jackson
132. automatic - pointer sisters
133. it's my life - talk talk
134. you are in my system - the system
135. hey dj - world's famous supreme team
136. no sell out - malcolm x
137. colour my love - fun fun
138. happy station - fun fun
139. all night passion - alisha
140. beat it - michael jackson
141. double dutch - malcolm mclaren
142. 1999 - prince
143. cheap thrills - planet patrol
144. yashar - cabaret voltaire
145. break dancin' - electric boogie - west st. mob
146. slippery people - staple singers
147. you think you're a man - divine
148. 1984 - praxis
149. she's strange - cameo
150. ain't nobody - rufus & chaka khan
151. breaker's revenge - arthur baker
152. magic's wand - whodini
153. there it is - shalamar
154. i feel love (patrick cowley mega-mix) - donna summer
155. no g.d.m. - gina x
156. mirda rock - reggie griffin & technofunk
157. der kommissar - falco
158. let's dance - david bowie
159. temptation - heaven 17
160. din daa daa - george kranz

· link to this ·

I was doing really well, having seen 34 out of the top 40 (biggest omission: The Godfather), but things fell off dramatically, so that I'd only seen 60 out of the top 100.

But where were my other favourites: Groundhog Day, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Under Fire, Delicatessen, Heat, Romeo & Juliet, The Spanish Prisoner, Being John Malkovich and - especially - Can't Stop The Music?

· link to this ·

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

This has been on my “investigate” list for a few months. Now that it’s won a Muzik award for best mix CD of the year, I’ve finally got round to picking it up. And, oh my word, very impressive it is too.

The overall sound is possibly best described as breakbeat meets two-step, but don’t let that put you off, as there’s a great deal more to it than that. I’m not usually a big fan of “nu school breaks” – I find the genre sterile, flat, unaware of its own history, and boringly un-funky: intended more for serious chin-stroking than for having fun. And two-step seems to me increasingly formulaic, restrictive and conservative. Besides which, dance music in general hasn’t impressed me much of late – the freshest sounding stuff (Röyksopp, Playgroup) being more on a home listening tip than anything else.

Which makes this CD all the more wonderful. The breakbeats and two-step rhythms are mashed up with all sorts of other influences (you name it – it’s in there somewhere) to create something that this jaded set of ears hasn’t really heard before. The overall effect is of a live sound system in full effect – it’s got that rough-edged immediacy – but in actual fact, a lot of care in the studio has clearly gone into the sequencing and mixing.

They’ve also used an MC throughout the mix, who – rather than rapping over the tracks – occasionally comes in to drop a few encouraging soundbites, much as a live MC would with a sound system. This happens mostly in the first half of the mix; once you’ve been brought up to speed with some of the more obviously exciting tracks, the pace smooths out, the flow is more even, and the MC takes a back seat.

There are plenty of familiar sounding elements on this set – in fact, the over-familiarity of some of the source material was putting me off buying the CD. However, enough is done to these tracks to make them sound fresh and different, so that the overall effect is of a mix which is very much aware of its context. It’s not just a collection of brand new tunes – it has a history too. If I list these tunes, then maybe you’ll get an idea of what I’m talking about and where this mix is coming from.

Jump ‘n’ Shout – Basement Jaxx
Has It Come To This – The Streets
The Phantom – Renegade Soundwave
Dooms Night – Azzido Da Bass
Magic’s Wand – Whodini
Love & Happiness – River Ocean feat. India (Masters At Work)

This CD has put a smile on my face and restored my faith in the future of dance music. Yes, it’s that good!

· link to this ·

Its time has come.

Nearly four years ago, I made a bit of money (thanks, Interob!) by putting together an unusual little website (www.hotcan.com (*)) for a small company which makes self-heating ready meals. Basically, there’s a can within a can, the outer can containing water and quicklime. You pierce the outer can, and the water pours down onto the quicklime. This causes a gradual exothermic reaction which heats the food in the inner can. Neat idea, but one that’s never really caught on big time (I believe the product is mainly marketed to the armed forces as emergency rations).

So, imagine my surprise when reading about the exciting new product Nescafe Hot (Guardian article is here) – a self-heating can of instant coffee which uses the same basic idea as dear old Hotcan. So, this is a technology whose time has come, then? Tsk, who’d have thought it.

(*) Disclaimer: the copy on the Hotcan site was not written by me. Can I make that quite clear!

· link to this ·

Priorities.

The latest gossip from my old workplace. The UK CEO likes to go on “office walkabouts” every few months, ostensibly to “keep in touch” with his workforce. In reality, this usually means that he passes down the entire length of each office in about 30 seconds flat, accompanied by a small gaggle of sycophants babbling in each ear. Blink and you’ve missed him, basically.

Anyway, on his latest walkabout, the CEO actually came to a halt by my old team leader’s desk. Had he come to talk strategy? To find out what my old team had been doing recently? To offer a few words of praise or encouragement?

Nope. He’d come to confiscate my old team leader’s desk name plate. The reason? It wasn't in the corporate font.

This man is in charge of over 2000 employees, and a multi-million pound annual turnover.

I’ll say no more.

· link to this ·

Hello to Google.

That's strange. This site started showing up on Google for the first time last night, but now it's disappeared again. Why?

Oh well. In the expectation that it will show up again, I'd better get some pervy search terms ready, to hook people in. Erm, let's see...

Pictures of Osama bin Laden in sexy underwear / Is Britney Spears ticklish? / Anal Digimon / Robbie Williams Nicole Kidman Posh Becks secret video camera sex party.

That should help. Hello, new readers!

· link to this ·

Monday, November 26, 2001

Scenic shifts.

Another rare but entertaining night out on the Scene last Friday. Along the way, we bumped into J, the Other Gay Man In Our Office. It was good to have a tipsy gossip away from work for once. J told me that sometimes I’ve got this look of fierce concentration on my face as I’m sitting at my terminal, which is actually quite scary and off-putting. But I only ever have this look when I’m playing Mah-jongg. Really, I have got to stop wasting my time on Mah-jongg, so I think I’ll take this as my wake-up call. Besides, I’m #3 on the leader board now, which is good enough for anyone.

J and I both started our current jobs on the same day. I immediately recognised him from Out And About, but he didn’t recognise me – until that same evening in the Lord Roberts when he tapped me on the shoulder and said “Perhaps I should introduce myself properly now…”

Towards the end of our first week, most of the office went out on a pub crawl. I made it my business to chat to as many of the friendly looking ones as possible, and – unlike my previous job where I dithered for the first month – I decided to get the coming out thing out of the way as soon as possible. So I did my usual “coming out by personal pronoun” thing. You know: “blah blah blah my partner…blah blah blah he…etc.”

This was all proceeding satisfactorily, until a few minutes before closing time, when – quite pissed up by then – I decided to get a cigar (as a former “social smoker”, cigars are my methadone – I average about one a week, just to ward off the occasional cravings). As I lit up, someone said “Didn’t realise you smoked, Mike.” At which point, J’s face lit up with an evil glow, as he shrieked across the table, “Yes - well - we all know you’re fond of a fag or two, don’t we!” And laughed like a drain.

Well, I thought to myself, that’s the whole sexual identity thing sorted, then.

Anyway, back to Friday night. K and I couldn’t help noticing that K kept getting approached by pretty young things who we’d never met before, introducing themselves and being Oh, so nice and friendly. This has never really happened before. Now, could it have something to do with the fact that K did a bit of a spectacular business deal last year, which unexpectedly made him a rather large sum of money (this being the reason why we now have a second home in the Peak District)? There has been a bit of local publicity about this of late, and, well, you know how people talk. (As an aside: we were at a party the other week and K overheard one stranger say to another as he passed: “He’s worth an absolute bomb, you know”. Said stranger later came up and introduced himself, all smiles, handshakes and nice-to-meet-yous.)

Not that I really mind too much, as we weren’t born yesterday and are in any case fairly resistant to the charms of pretty young things these days. Neither of us is prepared to become that standard sight of any provincial gay venue: the rich older queens in the corner, surrounded by a retinue of fawning youths, buying all the drinks and having all our jokes laughed at. I mean, ugh, puke. Not going down that road, thank you!

But I don’t think this is the only reason why K’s popularity in gay venues has increased so dramatically. I think it’s also a general attitude thing.

In pre-Peak District days, we were out on the scene all the bleeding time – almost permanent fixtures – mainly because we’d lost the imagination to do anything else with our weekends. I used to deal with it considerably better than K, who generally bore much the same expression that I apparently have while playing Mah-jongg. One commonly observed facet of the gay scene is that people often seek to define their very identities by the fact that they go to certain venues: clubbo ergo sum (or something). K felt in danger of being defined this way, which was in actual fact a long distance from his true identity. Hence the unapproachable scowl he used to wear. He used to bemoan the fact that no-one ever wanted to talk to him – now, as an occasional visitor who spends most of his weekends in rural bliss, he can loosen up and have fun – and the genuinely good time he’s having is correspondingly written all over his face. Which is a delight to behold, I have to say.

Another strange feature of the night. We were in NG1 for a good couple of hours, but I never even went within sniffing distance of the dancefloor. In days gone by, there would have been no holding me back. Has my Inner Disco Bunny gone into permanent hibernation? It really is most peculiar.

· link to this ·

Linguistic innovations.

K and snot-n-vom have just started competing to see how many impressive sounding but non-existent words they can make up and slip into their e-mails to the States. There will be bonus points if any of these words ever come back to them on other people’s e-mails. K’s first two words: experiential and tangiblise.

Unfortunately, experiential is already a word. But tangiblise is a fine addition to the ever-growing lexicon of corporate wankspeak.

· link to this ·

Overheard in Cambridge.

On a crowded shopping street in Cambridge this weekend, we passed a couple of homeless people: a man and a woman in their twenties, blankets over shoulders, that usual raggle-taggle thing going on style-wise. As we walked past, he mumbled something to her, so slurred as to be completely unintelligible, but clearly not kindly meant. To which she retorted, in carefully enunciated, cut-glass, imperious tones which could once have ruled India, “Don’t you speak to me like that!”

And the people walking behind us said to each other, “Did you hear that? Don’t you speak to me like that? She’s a f***ing homeless person!”

And you just thought: there’s a whole story right there, and we’ll never know it.

· link to this ·